Friday, November 09, 2007 ; 9:57 PMY
i am lost in you
watched stardust today. it was a pretty good show, in my opinion at least. met with john after school, or after lunch with sze and min rather. had macs... well, i swear i'm eating too much of fatty and heaty food lately because i've got a huge ulcer and the worst part is that i keep biting into it cause its swollen. haiz. see? like i said, nothing's going right.
econs lest tomorrow... hope i'll be able to do it well.. i just wanna start off well in university, i've made too many mistakes in the past...shall do my best tomorrow even though its just a test :)
well then, i guess i'm off to watch some tv..
p.s. , to you and only you:
this is why it has always been hard for me to tell you these things truthfully.
its not that i wanna put you down.
i mean, why would i?
its not like i want the impossible.
none of this has anything to do with me.
i'm saying it for your sake.
why can't you see?
i'm afraid of how you'll take it, and thats why i could never talk to you properly about it.
this was the exact reaction i was hoping not to get.
its all for you though... your sake.
can you even rely on yourself now? only you can answer that.
can you trust that you'll be fine at this rate?
its not all about "living for the moment" now, as you used to say.. remember?
you've done alot for me.
i'm sorry if you don't see it the way i do, but this is my way of doing something good for you for once.
i don't expect you to understand this now though.
but i do hope that one day you will and that one day you'll know why i say these things.
i'll just stop here cause i've said all i could.
its up to you really.
i don't wanna be a nag...seriously.
take it as you will.
its just that... perhaps, all i ever wanted was the best for you...