Wednesday, May 23, 2007 ; 11:52 AMY
i am lost in you
aight... just gonna blog now cause i'm super super duper worried, anxious, depressed, excited, scared, nervous.....well, its about the university thing. i haven't gotten any letters yet.. well except for smu..but thats not counted cause i knew i'd get rejected from them. i'm just afraid i'd get rejected from the other universitys too.. i've just been listening to everyone talk about how many universitys have accepted them. heck! they even get to pick and choose from all the courses offered to them by the various universitys..they're so lucky... haiz.. it sucks to be me at times like this. i'm happy for my friends who've gotten places in the universitys or in whatever place they plan to be in, but i can't help being a tinch bit envious of them.. i'm only human you know.. but thats no excuse i guess..its only because they put in so much more hard work. i wish i had too... there are so many people out there just like me during this time..all fighting for a position. does applying to every university help? i wish i didn't get the grades i had, then i wouldn't have to be so "desperate" for a place in the course i want. i wouldnt' be on pins and needles like i am now, knowing that i'll get rejected but still hanging on to that little light of hope that perhaps i MIGHT get into my dream course. to get into a university would be a dream come true right now. if only i worked harder, i'd be relaxing like the people who made it, letting the acceptance letters flow in..taking my time to consider those that i want. well, having a choice in the course i want that is.
*sigh*...
guess i don't exactly have a choice now... no use crying over spilt milk. should have worked harder when i had the chance to. i don't even know what happened last year.. i don't normally score this bad academically. i mean, especially in important examinations. i should have known better. arg! boy am i feeling an all time low! i'm freaking out cause its nearing the end of may and i haven't gotten anything....NOTHING!
ok..i've got nothing else to say.. i'm just really really worried now.
well, i've got to go and get ready to meet baby. he's on the way home.
going to orchard to hang out awhile and to look for a couple of stuff for the dance performance this sunday.
i think i need to de-stress too anyways, before it kills me. ahhahaha.. going nuts just thinking about it.
maybe i'll have some fondue later...to drown my sorrows that is..hell, if i can think of food at a time like this, i'm really loosing it. hah!
gonna watch pirates of the caribbean later at night with my girls and baby and his friends.
i'll update tonight or tomorrow on how it went.
going off to change now..yup yup yup.