Sunday, March 04, 2007 ; 11:10 PMY
i am lost in you
well, A level results were far from what i expected. really disappointing in fact. to the extent that its quite humiliating to even mention it.
continuously wondering what my next step will be.
pride that i just can't seem to put aside this time.
i really am lost now...nothing's going right for me anymore.
well, at least it can't get any worst now if thats any consolation.
its already hit rock bottom anyways.
its like all my dreams came crashing down on friday.
well, thats how i feel now.
kinda emotionless.. no mood to do anything...its like i can't face anyone now.
i really should pick myself up and move on... i know.
but, why is it so hard this time around i wonder...
i really do want to get into that course in a Uni.
i pray that things get better.
i feel mentally exhausted but i just can't keep my mind off this.
its worrying.
i hate comparing, but... its kinda demoralizing when i have to compete against people with 3As just to get into my dream course and school....
it sucks to have no choices at all..
its like having no power over what you want to do.
the feeling's so different from when i had the O level results.. at least there was something to celebrate about then.
after all i studied..... why these results... it feels so wrong.
i need to put my mind at ease.... but its not possible now.....
i can't seem to accept the fact that i screwed up... nothing's comforting to me....
i need to clear my mind...