Sunday, March 18, 2007 ; 11:16 PMY
i am lost in you
FUCKING FUCKED UP! ok..that doesn't even begin to bloody well describe today. hell yea, i'm pissed.
so this is how the day went, woke up, ok, everything's still peachy. went for ballet, came home, went out again(note: mother leaves house together for her own outing) ....
spent the day with john and penny.. was quite fun. then, it all started when i got to china town. to all artiste reading this, no offence. i'm sorry. its just really stressful for me to juggle so many things and i'm trying, but sometimes it get so hard and all the scolding and nagging doesn't make it any better.
fuck lah.. i'm bloody 19 and i don't have a life. imagine what everyone's thinking with me always leaving early..damn.....its so fustrating. today's rehearsal wasn't that good, i guess everyone had their reasons. damn...... even swearing doesn't make me feel better.normally bitching bout it all helps..but nah..not in this case. seriously, its like a kid who has a damn curfew. she doesn't sleep cause i'm not home, then she blames me. like WTF! its not my damn fault it ended later than expected... trainings are like this, so GET USED TO IT! bloody hell. uan, tensions are high, everyone's stressed, trying to get everything ready, yes, we're trying our hardest. made john wait for like 2 hours which was fuck. and when i rushed just to get home, what i get is yea, nagging. the last thing i needed to end my day, and i got truck loads of it. i mean, just because you're bloody tired doesn't mean i'm not. no one told you to stay up to wait! when i get home, u make a mountain out of a damn mole hill, which gets my dad's attention so yea, he'll get involved, so look! now i've got double the nag.. it's not as if i came back at 2am or crap, even 5 am. its only 10.45! u think you're the only one who knows what tired is.. you think you're the only damn person who's tired in this house.. well, you AND deisy. no one else... selfish, thats what she is. yet, she never stops to even try to think it through. fuck, i'm tired. i'm so tired of this shit that i have to go through. 19 mom! drill it into that thick skull of yours. its now or never. arg.... ok..my head's pounding...
to john- sorry about today, making you wait for so long, its never gonna happen again, PROMISE :)
to artistes- sorry for bailing on you guys all the time. we'll get through the musical..definitely. :)