wHeN iT aLL fAllS ApArT...

2008-12-25T18:38:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!! :P

ok... i'm just being super random... tis the season for lots and lots of food!!!!! tarts!! cake! turkey! ham! woohooo!!!! speaking of which, actually feeling pretty hungry now... hopefully we'll leave the house soon for some scrumptious food :) shall go search the kitchen for whatever i can find now...

2008-12-11T09:47:00.002+08:00

it's been a hell of a long time since i've updated anything here. it's probably cause i'm getting really lazy to update this. lol. so here's me moving my lazy bones to update the blog cause its getting a little sad.

attended john's POP yesterday. so yup. woke up at like 6.30am since his parents were gonna pick me up at 7.30. yes, i take more than 1 hour to prepare normally.. but i'm sure as hell not waking up earlier than that. so rushed through everything and left the house. well, its the first time i've been to tekong and i thought it was pretty ok. decent. but well, like they say, the outside always looks pretty, it's the inside that stinks. according to john and his dad, that is. reached tekong early( 1.5 hrs early to be exact). so we waited... listened to some guy give his speech. i tell you there's something about ppl who talk too much and me. i just automatically fall asleep. haha. i've no idea why. the POP went pretty smoothly. the weather was nice too with the occasional breeze. i really pity the afternoon session POP, i heard it gets really humid. so yup :)

went back to his place after everything and took a little nap cause we were both exhausted.. especially him since he didn't sleep at all. poor cuddles :( hope he slept well last night. after that, we left for orchard. only managed to walk around abit cause his feet were really killing him. i don't blame him though.its tough not sleeping and marching that much. hmmmm... oh well. its all over now, so he can get a good rest :)

ohoh!!!! i bought my very own leather jacket from top shop!!!!!woohoo!!!! lol..sorry, i've been having this leather fetish and i've though about it for a very long time. so i finally bought it!!!! super duper happy now :) hmmmmmm... we had dinner at speghetties(not sure if this is how it's spelt) in paragon with sze, min, joyce and penny :) it was really nice seeing joyce again. lol.. it's been awhile!!!

went home after that so cuddles could get his very much deserved rest!!!! hugs:)
oh yea, did i mention that i finally got my ipod touch???? yayness!!!!!!! :) but i'm still learning how to handle it. so yea. many things to do today, so i probably won't get much time to play around with it. oh well :( soon soon... i'm really in desperate need of time to shop for christmas presents too :( oh man....

2008-11-02T19:22:00.002+08:00

THE BIG WALK IS HERE!!!!!! ok.. correction. it was here. now it's all over and done with. i swear i'm tired. think the scorching heat this morning was a major cause of it too. :( woke up at 5 freaking a.m. in the morning just to drag myself down to suntec city. was supposed to interview some people along the way but they were too damn shy.. so it was a total waste of time.here i am trying to give them their 2 seconds of fame and they were camera shy... fantastic.i only asked them to shout one word... as a GROUP!! i figured they would've felt more at ease that way.. well, apparently not. had to explain to them why they were being interviewed, and after painstakingly explaining things to them, they still shunned the camera. like wtf. give me a break man. i woke up at freaking 5am, rejections and long conversations totally weren't on my to-do list. so i ended up rushing down to suntec and then took the shuttle bus with the other finalists down to the marina barrage where we waited for the first runner to appear... boy oh boy. hahahaha!!! it was freakin funny. but i shan't elaborate on that. it's mean :p had to stand around smiling at people who walked past. then went up to the vip room to catch a break...aircon!!!! i've never been so grateful for some air-conditioning. whoever invented it is a complete saint!!! haha. anyways, we did alot of things. fooled around, went up on stage for some interviews. stupid radio djs fed us to the crowd and starting talking among themselves after awhile. we were freaking sacrifices. my mouth hurts again from too much smiling. thank god one of the people in charge got us down from there.

oh well, nothing much happened after that. just alot of bumming around. finally left the place at about 11-ish? went back to suntec and left for ballet :) the rest of the day was like... eh.. the same as every other sunday except that cuddles came by :) happy me!!!! lol.. till next week then.. i shall try ignoring the fact that i've loads of assignments due... just for tonight that is :)

2008-10-31T20:23:00.002+08:00

safy needs to stop skipping classes. just realised that i don't know alot of the content so far... so that's bad. i'm in deep trouble if this keeps up.
it's like i'm slacking off for what is supposed to be the most important year in university... brilliant me. i seriously need more determination to stay for classes. yes,even those suicidal boring lectures( ahem! FI) .
so here's a goal for myself :) i'm not gonna skip classes for this year anymore!!! lol.. yea, let's see how long i can pull that off without going crazy. well, i'll attend half a class at least... it's still effort! whahaha..

anyways, the big walk is this sunday :) asiaone equipped me with a pretty video cam.. it's damn small !!!! haha... gonna do some video blog about the events that day.. i swear it's gonna be fun.. it's just the timing that sucks..gotta wake up early and be there by 7am!!! arh! that's like just to flag the people off.. then apparently there'll be some bus to bring all of us to the ending point where we'll wait for em :) well, i've NEVER EVER been to the big walk before, so i guess it'll be something new for me.

did i mention that i've got tons of assignments and tutorials due next week that's still undone? congratulations to me!!!! its gonna be one bloody hectic weekend. i knew i should have done all these like 3 weeks ago when we were told about it... smart safy, smart! oh well, time to get down to work :( i'm bloody sick too... i don't get it, i was perfectly fine this morning and yet i had a bad throat and fever when i woke up from my afternoon nap..totally wrong timing to have all these things....sigh...

2008-10-10T23:52:00.002+08:00

first of all, thank you everyone for coming to support me. it really helped me, knowing that you guys wre supporting me all the way.. lol.. so yes, thank you so much for taking the time to come all the way down.. :) and thank you for the chocolates and roses... you guys know who you are :) hugs!!!!!!

aight.so moving on, it's been like one hell of a bloody tiring week... had plenty of rehearsals, fittings, yadah yadah yadah.. and now, it's all finally over. you've no idea how relieved i am. i'm so tired.. yearning for a good night's rest... finally!!!!! wooohooo!!!

anyway, the finals were... well, ok. i pretty much expected the results..so wasn't too suprised... the winner deserved it really :) nice girl :) it was a pretty good experience altogether. even with the early mornings and stupid stilettos, i still enjoyed the company and the experience.. so here's to my once in a life time experience cause i figure i'm not gonna try anything like this anytime soon.. it's too tiring for me and most probably it'll affect my studies... just look at how many darn classes i skipped for this competition. haha.. oh well, no point complaining now :)

i'm off for my beauty sleep now :) my very VERY much deserved beauty sleep :) weeeeeeee......!!!!!

note: wake me up by any means and you'll regret the day you were born. whahahahahh :p

2008-09-25T22:15:00.002+08:00

went swimming with min, sze and kelda today, at kelda's place of course :P was pretty fun actually. min bought some lunch in for us. SUBWAY!!!!! woohoo!!! played pool, fooled around... yadah yadah yadah :) had to rush off for dance after that.. travelled all the way there just for a talk and 2 dry runs... oh well.. last performance is this saturday after all. had nice bitching sessions.. been wanting that for some time now, needed to get many of things off my chest..well, i'm hapy now!!!! whahahaha.. see how happy a little bitching can make you? aight... on a different note, i have 2 freaking consecutive 3 hr lectures tomorrow...that's like 6 hrs of lecture!!!6 hours of sitting in that chair staring at the clock..i swear, time passes so slowly at times like that. wonder what'll happen to me man... oh well... after that i'll have to head down to sph for the new face contest rehearsals.. it's gonna be a freaking long day...

GOOD NEWS!!!!! john's coming out tomorrow!!!!! haha.. so that'll give me motivation to tahan all those gruelling lectures and rehearsals.... lol.. :) till tomorrow then!!!! wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

2008-09-13T19:50:00.006+08:00

well, he left for NS today... seems he won't able to come out until the 26th of september sadly. but i guess it can't be helped. i sure am gonna miss the great company and of course my lack of hugs for 2 whole weeks!!!!!!!.. but i'll manage i guess:) been really busy with the dance rehearsals and performances. i'm completely exhausted. as in, totally no energy left in my body. my muscles won't let me move anymore. i still do feel like dancing though, but just to other songs.. i'm sick of the routine already.. i wanna go for my open classes again soon... missing that alot. i need more exposure... yes yes..

anyway, school's starting next week and the people from london sent me some wrong study materials.. now i have to wait for the new batch to arrive again. busy busy busy...

anyway, here are some photos that might interest some of you out there. :p

before...

off it goes!!! :)

AND...just for fun... WALAHH!!!!

2008-09-02T21:41:00.002+08:00

ok. so... i passed all my papers for my first year.. problem is frankly, i've no idea whether i should be jumping around in happiness or drowning in my sorrows. what should i have expected for this exam? i mean, it's different from jc and secondary school in terms of grading and all.. so... where do i really stand in this? are the grades really that fantastic after all? hmmmmm..

outing with john, min, sze and kelda tomorrow.. gonna watch wall-eeeeeeeeeeeeeee... lol..hope it's good :)

2008-08-28T23:10:00.002+08:00

well, these are the photos i've gotten so far.. videos on www.tnp.sg .. go check it out :) i sound super nervous in the video!!!! oh well.. it's an experience..

going for bball training with min tomorrow.. hope it turns out ok since i've lost most of my stamina... hopefully i can still shoot accurately!!!! whahahaha

2008-08-23T20:46:00.002+08:00

oh man, i had these few photos that were on rednano.com but unfortunately, i couldn't get it in time... but john has it on his blog so its ok i guess... i have chinky eyes!!!!! whahahaha.. in the photo at least. i totally don't look like me..
anyways, the individual spreads in the papers are gonna be out next week... hope i'm able to get as much votes as possible :) its $1000 to be won for that. lol.. *hint hint*

dance has left me exhausted.. my body aches all over... but hell! i'm lovin it. abs here i come! might be joining min for one of her bball training sessions to see what it's like... but i hate all the passing and all that.. frankly i really want a match.. but think i've lost alot of stamina since i haven't played in such long long time. nvm.. i shall try next week :) aight... super random post...off to watch a show or something now....

2008-08-06T21:51:00.003+08:00

so this is how today went...
I CAUGHT A PRAWN!!!! yes, i'm proud of myself since i've never done this before...well, john and sze were like pros lah... it may seem simple enough.... but it's actually really hard... fustrating too, especially when the stupid prawn gets loose after the long wait for them to take the bait. arg!!!! we really should go again...it's kinda fun once you've experienced it... but i sure as hell still agree with the easy way: buy them from the damn supermarket... definitely cheaper and faster... but on the other hand, if we catch it ourselves, i guess there's sort of a feeling of accomplishment.. :) think we caught only about 10? or 15? yea, so here I go again... SUPERMARKET FTW!!!!

left the place 3 hours later being 10 bucks poorer... so yup,2 rods for 3 hours.. there were 6 of us btw. super broke now. and it's only the start of the month. went back to john's place to play ball, waited for min and sze to shower.. then we left for astons in gardens :)
i swear the portions there were larger than usual... hmmmm.... oh well, i had my chargrilled chicken!!!! followed by cookies and cream ice cream :) the cookies inside were all mushy though... i think it kinda spoiled it. but the uncle added cookies for me although i swear i was joking about it. didn't really think he'd do it. so i'm a happy happy girl... now i'll just have to work out more for the rest of the week.. can't possibly let all my efforts go down the drain... i've been like pigging out for 2 days straight with no exercise.. dance dance dance!!! here i come :)

2008-08-02T22:04:00.002+08:00

hey hey! thought maybe i'd post more pictures.... :) for future references...:P
many pretty girls... tough competition k... *sigh*

2008-08-02T21:56:00.002+08:00

heeeee :) that's me!!!! ok..a rather late post.. but i guess i'm pretty happy.. made the top 20 and all...looking bloody fat in that photo... annoying... i'm like the odd one out in leggings...special! :) anyway, life's pretty much hectic now... gotta stop all these things soon once school starts... modelling and dance... arg!!! getting a thousand and one pimples on my face... bloody annoying.... never used to have this problem... shiiittttt!must be the lack of rest and excess junk food....

hmmm... anyway, vote for me k ppl? when my new paper spread comes out on the 20 something of this month :) support me!!!! haha... it's a thousand dollars for the title of miss popularity!!!! sad case... so i'm desperate for votes.. haha... it's gonna be fun since its a first time experience for me in a contest like this one... :)

btw, dance is gonna be tough!!! here comes my abs!!!! woohoo!!! ok... super random post... see ya!

2008-07-20T21:33:00.002+08:00

hmmm.. guess i haven't really updated in awhile.. been too lazy to log in.. hah. just how lazy can i really get. anyway, it figures, since nothing much has been hapening lately.. busy with all the unpacking and arranging of stuff cause we just shifted back to our newly renovated and yet problematic house.. i swear the contractors and the designers are assholes. i mean, it did cost us a bomb and the least we'd expect was a decent job done..

oh yea, i'm totally done with photo shoots for the TNPNF. next would be rehearsals non stop during the late september period. oh well.. vote for me ppl! think the individual spreads in the new paper will be out next month, 20th onwards if i'm not wrong.. and i'm one of the first few i suppose... height issues maybe?

dance starts tomorrow.. as in officialy for me. performance is in september too... oh dear.. plus we also have to perform for the opening of the new SIM hostel.. "the big bang" its such a weird title though... and they had to choose that of all titles. but there's a new dance studio there.. i haven't seen it yet... but i ain't complaining cause it's sure as hell gonna be better than dancing with black paper against a damn glass door. it's sad really. so here goes nothing.. many many activities to come... plus cuddles is going to the army soon too... gonna have to deal with that as well.......

2008-07-02T22:39:00.002+08:00

i got a swollen finger!!!!! and it hurts like shiiiiittttttt!!! like wtf! i don't know what happened or when it happened...don't remember a thing.... stupid shit!

anyway, on a brighter and much happier note... i got into the finals for the new paper new face contest!!! so start buying the papers ppl!! :) and vote for me k? well, if you want to at least. no pressure, i promise :P here comes the many photo shoots in the blazing heat... i swear the make up melts fast..i'm like some water fountain i tell you..lol..oh oh! did i mention that i had a pair of 200 dollar heels and a make over for free? now, i don't get that very often... not at all in fact.. i'd be crazy to buy myself heels that cost 200 bucks.. sheesh! can buy a hundred cheap pairs instead.. but they're so pretty!!! and damn glittery..i'm in love!! lol... 4 inch heels that i have to learn to cat walk in for the finals at takashimaya... better start practicing before i look like a complete idiot that day..haha.. and on a random note, i really liked my blonde hair!!! just watch me as i slowly change it back to how it originally was :)

2008-06-19T10:34:00.002+08:00

here come a RANDOM POST!!!! woohoo! 3 months vacation!!! yup, it does sound great.. but it's been rather unproductive so far. no job, no money, lacking things to do... what's a girl to do huh. just finished a whole day of shooting for some commecial on tuesday... left me really exhausted. john waited for me the whole time.. really appreciate it :)there's gonna be a second one on the 30th.. its good money i guess. mondays and wednesdays are for dance, but only in the evenings... so it's rather boring in the day. as for the rest of the week, hmmmm...haha.. can't say much. just hopefully it won't be like this for too long.

oh yea... made it through to the first round of the TNPNF last saturday... next round's this saturday at the subaru hub. wonder how far i'll go... not really confident of making it to the top few though... lots of competition... but i'll try:)

at the beginning with you.

2008-06-13T02:24:00.000+08:00

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Live is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Live is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Live is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on....
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.

2008-06-04T01:38:00.002+08:00

hello snuggles
because you said you had no internet, i shall help you update.
where to start..
ahh yes the chalet! *ehem* time to do my safy impression.

HI EVERYONE!
i know i haven't been updating much, but i don't have internet at home still:( and when i do, i'm most probably too busy watching anime and not updating :P
anyway we had out chalet from thursday to saturday.
we had a blast right everyone?
baby and i went there early to hang out.
explored the place and found out they had alot of BLOODSUCKING MOSQUITO!
eeeeeeeee i don't like! so i went to buy a mosquito patch to keep them away from me
and it worked!!! but it gave cuddles a headache after a while. sorry babe:(
anyway we had the bbq at around 8pm because ms fairlyn tan was late.
after the food, we all went to wash up than proceeded to play cat and mouse
which was a drinking game!
we had lots of fun and i'm pretty sure most of us were high.
me in particular cause i drank till i had a headache resulting in baby staying up the whole night to take care of me. thanks alot cuddles<3 and i'm sorry :(
the next morning, we went to changi village for breakfast than we went to downtown east to book the movie tickets for prince caspian! had lunch, bowled and played arcade!
went back to sleep after.
dinner was at changi village.
ordered rice with dishes.
around midnight we went to watch the movie.
i swear i was very tired and i had difficulty keeping my eyes open.
i know baby and i panseng when we got back lol.
anyway all in all a good time =D
thanks everyone for making it enjoyable!

there hope it was safy enough,
babe you can make changes when you get your net back =D
love you lotssss!

-JAPE

2008-05-23T17:58:00.002+08:00

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!! yes it is! yes it is! it's now time to enjoy, have fun... yup, it seems like a really long time since i've had absolutely nothing to do :) here's to 3 months of fun,starting......NOW!!! woohoo!

IT'S THE 14TH OF MAY ONCE AGAIN!!!

2008-05-14T10:25:00.002+08:00

hey you, PCT!!!!!!!! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US CUDDLES!!!!!! 2 years and counting.. yup yup... it feels great :) *truckloads of hugs and kisses* here's to more fun and laughter together :p

I LOVE YOU <333 i'm looking forward to later yea? it'll be fun :)

so, just what is it about us ?

2008-04-30T09:30:00.003+08:00

people with never ending wants....are we ever completely satisfied with what we have? well i guess you can say it's pretty natural, but why can't we be? i mean, we've been like this the whole time.. was it really worth it? was it really worth going through all that we did? was it meant to be? can we really carry on being like this? can we handle, accept the past and accept each other for who we really are? well, yea, i know that whatever i've said is really random...yea, gibberish. but these were just the questions running through my head last night.its a mess really. i'm a mess. so yea.

on another note, exams are next week. i'm feeling really bummed out... i tell you its the worst combination ever. i mean, i'm supposed to be feeling really prepared and confident and all that.yet, i'm feeling kinda lousy. well, the aim was to do well for all my 3 years thats left of studying. don't know if thats feasible now.. gosh, i don't even have a proper gauge on my standard so far.

2008-04-23T19:39:00.002+08:00

i've got a brilliant boyfriend!!!! i love love love LOVE him!! he got me an internet connection!!! muacks muacks! well, at least i don't feel as pathetic now... no more desperation for the net for me :) anyway, i think i'm becoming fat. haven't been exercising much..... i want my abs :( getting my tummy back :( plus me getting hungry quick isn't helping. anyways, going back to school to collect the rest of my prelim papers tomorrow than i'm gonna meet my cuddles! lookin forward to that.... but i've got to study first... don't think i'll be getting the car for school tomorrow too since it has to go in for servicing... so yup, quoting cuddles : "PCC ".

i have no internet! sobs~~!

2008-04-11T23:35:00.002+08:00

i do not have any internet access at home because my dad doesn't want to subscribe to it.
i'm feeling very out of it somehow.
like my connection to the whole world has be severed.
it's been like 11 days and counting
and i am rotting!!
how?!?
i guess i shall drop over to cuddles's house one day and steal his internet
hehehe
remember babe, what your's is mine and what mine is mine
:)

ps: this is john posing as steph because she wanted me to sound like her when i updated this post for her. pcc

2008-04-04T10:10:00.002+08:00

i'm such a sad pig. i've completely no internet at home. so here i am in school updating. having a break now from PBF.... fucking boring btw. oh well, back to class for now. oh yea, my birthday's tomorrow... turning 15 :) hint hint!!!

happy 20th cuddles!

2008-03-19T22:18:00.002+08:00

lol... just came home from the birthday celebration.... had lots to eat at sizzlers... but now there's a huge hole in my wallet as a result. haha..oh well.... bought him some electric ball thingy which i thought was really cute.. glad he liked it :) he's like some kid in a body of a 20 year old...lol, we had fun i guess :) actually, what's most important is that he enjoyed himself... it's his special day. yup yup! lol..hmmmmmm.... well... i guess that was a rough summary of what went on today... lots of laughter, food, friends, cake and ice cream :) ahhhhh!!! now that's an unbeatable combination! lol.. muacks babe! happy 20th birthday once again! <333333333333333333

2008-03-08T21:41:00.002+08:00

yay!!! finally! all the events are done... we had the last dance performance today, prelims ended yesterday too :) but i'm pretty sure i didn't do well though.... its a sickening feeling... haiz..... anyways, that's that! next up is the ballet exam and more time spent with cuddles!!! woohoo! hmmmmm, but of course i'm still gonna have to sneak in some studies since the main paper's in May.... arg! come to think of it, there's not much time left man....die... aight, that's it for now i guess...and and... i wanna watch step up to the streets!!!! but i'm gonna have to wait since its a dance group outing :( i get to bring cuddles along though, so all's good :)

2008-03-02T22:19:00.002+08:00

ahhhhh!!!! finally! an update!

was in Australia for like a week..sydney to be exact :P it was pretty screwed up since we had the wrong impression that it was summer there.. well, technically it was supposed to be summer but the moment we landed, they announced something along the lines of " the weather in sydney has been pretty crazy lately... temperatures today are at a high of 24 degrees and a low of 20.. " like wth? the clothes i packed for the entire trip consisted of shorts and sleeveless tops! well, thank god for the jeans i wore there.... and well, one pathetic pair of leggings..

hah! our luck just went downhill from there. the temperature continued dropping... till 16? and that was when we left... the windy conditions didn't help either... icy cold wind! burrrrrr...... thank god i managed to get myself a pair of pants to use! whahahaha...

visited the sydney opera house which was a must! and well, the things in sydney were rather expensive so i didn't get much... managed to get some souveniers for cuddles and the girls...just something small but i'm hoping that they'll like it.
wanted to climb some bridge and go watch dolphins, but my family was unwilling... so, we ended up walking alot, eating alot, and shopping... feel like a pig now. lol

brought my books over to sydney to study, i sound like such a nerd.... but alas! didn't open it to study at all so i'm screwed.

well thats all for sydney i guess... anyways, got back yesterday..... had to rush home to drop off everything and rush out for dance again.. they changed some moves, so i had to catch up... oh well... hmmmmmm... was seriously tired... abit of jet-lag i guess.

alright! on to today.... well, the competition was today.. so had to wake up early to prepare and left for vivo. spent the whole time there... competition started at 3.30pm... saw the talent out there... since it was the open catagory ... damn nice! there was this really young girl who had fantastic foundation.... boy oh boy! she could really shake it! lol... i gotta buck up!!!!!! lol... anyway, we did our best and it's a step forward for dreamwerks :D we had loads of fun! besides, i'm sure we'll get it next time :P lol.. its the experience and exposure that was valuable this time around... there's always a first for everything right? lol.

aight! i'ma go sleep now :) ciao ppl !!!

CNY BLUES AND WOOHOOS!:)

2008-02-11T21:39:00.000+08:00

i'm miserable cause i've got a really nasty throat infection plus ulcer which simply refuses to heal....so its like a double blow for me at the worst of times..... its like all the gorgeous goodies are out and i can't touch them cause it hurts too much to swallow... heck, swallowing my own saliva takes a hell lot of effort already. lol.. i'm one sad sad pig.

anyway, met john, min, lyn, sze and char yesterday for some cny visiting:) dropped by at john's place first after my ballet... then we left for lyn's house which ended with a doggie chase... then to min's house (i swear its my first time in there, the last time i only reached her porch. ) lol.... after that, we left for aloy's place and then to mine where i had the loveliest shower cause of all the dog's fur throughout the day...felt so fresh after that :) lastly, we all went to sze's place, stayed for awhile and then left for east coast park for some dinner :) starving since i couldn't binch on tidbits.
anyway, we had loads of fun... we should really make this into a yearly routine :) lol.. imagine the hongbaos we could get! whahahahahaha

anyway, on to todays' events... studied throughout the day... or at least i tried my best to absorb whatever i could.... and then met yilin and john for dinner.. :) its been awhile since we've last seen her... i guess she still looks the same.. :) as easy going as ever.. lol... enjoyed the night out even if it was just a little while.. well... off to watch some movies now...having this sudden urge to watch memoirs of a geisha.lol.. came home last night but only managed to catch the very last bit of it... so yup, sparked an interest :) lol

2008-02-03T22:42:00.001+08:00

so i got my ankle "fixed" today...it hurt so badly when the lady was doing it... just ask john, whose fingers i nearly broke off. lol...sorry... the pain was excruciating i tell you! apparently the nerves were all connected from my neck all the way down to my ankle where it hurt...so yup... all the muscle aches i've been having from dance... all the knots and tension..she got to em!!!! arg! its totally soothing when john rubs it, but its a completely different story when she does it.... yup. i'm probably gonna hurt even more tomorrow cause its gonna feel really sore.... i'm banned from dancing for at least 2-3 days... so there goes practice tomorrow... guess i'll stay home to study....missed out on quite alot.... haven't been keeping to my timetable. dang... but its ok today cause i got to spend some time with him... it was really a long-awaited meet up. sorry :( i had fun though :D

ok... now for the activities before my horrific incident at the chinese sensei.

went for ballet.... nearly died. my turns were fucked because i couldn't balance on my injured leg... which really sucked cause i ended up making myself look like an idiot.couldn't even go on pointes cause it hurt too much.... smart me decided to wear heels out today too since my ankle felt fine in the morning..... haiz.. gee, sometimes i really wonder what i have a brain for. lol. went to meet john at toa payoh mrt station after ballet and then we made our way to orchard to get a new pair of demi pointe shoes... there's no way in hell i'll get through the exams with my old shoes this time.. lol.. especially in the state that it's in. need to season the new ones asap too.. hmmm.... looked for some new clothes along the way.... john managed to get two, which is an accomplishment.. :) looks really cute too... yup, got one for myself as well. wanted 3 new tops.. but yea, got only one in the end cause my bank account really looks pathetic now. walked around, stopped at starbucks to get some hot drinks cause john was sick and it was really cold. super duper wet weather today man.

......then we left for the chinese sensei at amk... and yup..... *OUCH*

john has a fever..... hope he gets better soon.... rest well :) it was really fun hanging out today.. hugs :)

7 of everything!!!

2008-01-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

(in random order)

Seven Things That Scare You

1) breaking up
2) horror flicks
3) losing my parents
4) scary dark places
5) not making it in life
6) death
7) being alone

Seven Things You Like the Most

1) john aka cinderella
2) my best buddies
3) brownies!! especially those from P.Osh
4) fun, fun, and more fun
5) cheese sticks
6) truckloads of laughter to last me a lifetime
7) jewels and dutchess!

Seven Important Things in your Room

1) bed (includes pillow, bolster and blanket)
2) laptop
3) aircon
4) fan
5) ipod
6) tv
7) mirror

Seven Random Facts About You

1) i can be an airhead at times(0.01% of the time)
2) i'm a waking legend :) (99.99% of the time)
3) i'm lazy
4) i can talk to almost anyone anytime and anywhere
5) i'm loud
6) i can't draw for nuts
7) i have an over-active imagination

Seven Things You Plan To Do Before You Die

1) be successful in life
2) get married
3) travel around the world
4) create many unforgettable memories
5) have kids
6)have loads of fun
7)hope and pray that technology will be developed to find a way to make us live forever :)
wishful thinking.lol

Seven Things You Can Do

1) play basketball
2) dance
3) memorize truckloads of info quickly
4) drive
5) watch tv the whole day in the same spot(i'm a couch potato )
6) do math for an entire day ( freaky, but i can start at 4am and end at 8pm)
7) modelling ( haven't been on it for a long time now)

Seven Things You Can’t Do

1) write with my right hand
2) control my temper
3) control my tongue( its like a loose cannon)
4) splits (even though i nearly got there once, i got lazy and now i'm back to square 1)
5) eat vegetables
6) tolerate pain
7) tolerate cigarettes

Seven Things That Attract You to the Opposite Sex

1) character
2) eyes
3) how we click
4) smile
5) dress sense
6) respect given/shown
7) the entertainment factor ( don't like guys who are dull)

Seven Things You Say/Write The Most

1) ass
2) go away
3) lol
4) idiot
5) i'll think about it/ see how it goes
6) fuck you
7) someone need to tell him/her that he/she is a walking fashion disaster... lol.. (yes i know,
kinda bad of me to say that. But seriously, some people's dressing sense nowadays are getting
more hideous by the minute)

Seven Celebrity Crushes

its funny, but i don't have any.. not into these kinda things.especially when it comes to the local ones.... i'll go: huh? who? wtf? ... so yea, you get the picture..no offense but i'm just not a fan of this kinda shit.

Seven People You Want to Take this Test
1) whoever wants to do this
2) but min you gotta do this! =D

2008-01-24T22:28:00.000+08:00

i swear, i've never felt so stupid in my life.yea, a dimwit..a dumbass... whatever it is. for the first time since i started, i realised how far ahead others are in front of me.... how they study consistently.... yup, i'm embarrassed to admit that i was even relatively comfortable in the state i'm in. A walking contradiction, i've been lying to myself all this time. now, i need to set my pace right, some things need to be sacrificed, no matter how hard (yes, its damn right easier said than done) ...but i musn't forget why i'm in this course...
i'm not gonna make the same mistakes again......i just gotta keep this in mind from now on...not gonna let anything else get in the way anymore...cause if i stay the way i am, i'm just gonna end up lagging behind further..... one and a half months.... i gotta catch up by then or i'm screwed.

now, if i could just plan my time right.......hmmmmmm......

2008-01-17T20:14:00.000+08:00

right... so i'm feeling real crappy now.. feeling as if there's a whole lot of stuff that i've got to do, yet i can't seem to start... been feeling really exhausted too.... there's school, truck loads of content that i've yet to cover, prelims around the corner, mock tests too, then there's dance practices..... yup, i'm feeling the pressure alright... the finals are in MAY and i'm not even prepared... i mean, it took me 5 months to compose myself for the past few exams.. i'm sure as hell lacking time for the upcoming one, thats for sure. i've only got like 3 months to buck up? time's running and i ain't moving. someone please give me a swift kick cause i seem to be stuck where i am, and its not good considering my grades... i need to step on it.... push on... or i ain't gonna make it... everyone seems to be getting on track.... everyone but me. hell, how am i gonna catch up? IBM..... PBF... hah! the two that worry me to death..... oh man, where do i go from here? the fucked up schedules are driving me insane... i hate being left behind..... yea, especially when i suck this bad at doing the things i do.

2008-01-05T22:57:00.000+08:00

just came back from an outing with dreamwerks. met meishan and daryl first and then went to meet the rest at orchard to eat and watch a movie but we all arrived late, so yup, movie's off the list. ate at billy bombers..not bad. but since the portions are huge, i shared a meal with po :) not bad, soup, main course and the legendary ben and jerry's ice cream :) and the flavour of the day was my all time favourite too. so yup :) everything went well for me .lol. :P think they're most probably heading down to clarke quay for a chillin session. my tummy hurts like crazy now for some reason.. it feels sorta bloated. oh man, what a way to end the day...

anyways, on the brighter side, baby might be joining me for mass tomorrow and brunch :) happy happy! haven't confirmed anything with him though.... he's such a dear for taking all the trouble.... feel kinda bad that he always has to travel. thanks babe! i really do appreciate it.

hmmm...tasks tasks.... yes, i gotta head down to RELC asap man.... gotta register for the UOL exam this May. deadline's on the 12th. and i doubt i'll have time on school days... so i'll most probably go there with min on monday. yup... better get it over and done with fast. :)

lastly, as for my new year's resolution??? yea, i know its really REALLY late... but i didn't have the time to update.. lol.. besides, what's a year without goals?
anyway, i completely failed last year. lol.. completely fucked up all my resolutions...hopefully, no wait, i'll definitely keep to it this year.... i don't ever want to go through all those failures again like last year... once is enough to kill man...
well, here goes, resolutions:
1) get that degree( at least 2nd class honours)
2) maintain and improve class test results... to be used as a gauge.
3) listen to john's advice... (yes i know i'm stubborn... you are too k?.. hugs:) )
4) fulfill my goal in dance
5) to study more and knuckle down... yes, i don't want a repeat of my A levels.. that was seriously screwed up.
6) loose weight :) yes, i know.. its typical....who cares! i wanna loose 3-5 kgs :)

hah! funny thing is, i reached goal 6 last year... but i gained back half of it... so not considered... christmas kills diets. lol... CNY too!!! OMG!!!! safy, abstain!!!! yes yes.... to get abs... yes yes... lol... note to self: no snacks!!!! tough luck for me man..... oh well... thats about it i guess.... 6 essentials for the year... here goes nothing :)

2007-12-23T21:33:00.001+08:00

hmmmm..its been awhile since i last updated.... its been really hectic with the UOL bash performance and all the practices.... plus we had a loss in the family.so yea, there was alot going on.now that all of it is over, its time for christmas :) but i doubt my whole family'll be celebrating this year cause of the death.. haiz... it's out of respect after all.

anyways, haven't had much time to buy many gifts, everything's just so rushy...
on a happier note, congrats to baby on your new ipod :)
and yup, i've got a new phone.
then again, my bank account's totally blown! arg!!! freaking depressing.... hoping for some moolah soon :)

2007-12-12T10:14:00.000+08:00

I'VE FINALLY GOT MY DRIVING LICENSE!!!!!! woohoo!!! lol... like finally! after so long.... and of course after failing it the first time with 40 demerit points.... passed the test yesterday with 8 points. lol... kind of similar to the time during my o levels and prelims . haha... yea i know thats random. :P anyway, that's that! i'm off to find a car to drive... lol.. most probably my brother's... if he doesn't skin me alive first, that is :)

KL riots!!!!

2007-11-28T20:38:00.000+08:00

ok... so i didn't really see the riots going on while i was there, but there sure as hell were riots cause we were told to stay within the hotel on our first day there... sucks... but it was ok i guess, since we were all tired from the long drive up. hmmmm... so i'm back :) missed everyone here... especially my baby boy. 3 days may seem pretty short, but its darn long to us :P right? haha..ok... anyways, managed to get all my dance stuff over there cause it was pretty cheap :)

therefore, to min and john : lol... guess i'll think of another christmas pressie!!!!whahahaha... u two ain't gonna get away that easy.. :P

hmmmm... since i'm rather lazy to start typing out the events for all three days, i'll just summarize :) so basically it was just "shop till you drop"... doesn't matter if i went there like only a few months back.... we still shopped... even if it meant walking around the same area. hah! accomplished quite alot though.. lol... see? its a girl thing... haha, or maybe just an excuse. i practically screened every shop thoroughly this time around. took us a whole day to finish up that 10 storey mall and another whole day to finish another mall even bigger than that. lol.. so yup, lots of walking, not to mention lots of eating too... depressing as hell cause its kinda hard to resist such abundant amounts of food in front of me.. :P i'll work it off twice as hard!!!!!!!! time to go on an exercise rampage. lol... yes, i'm bloody weight conscious... or rather, just not satisfied with the way i am yet... lol..well, i'll get there. lol. as for now, i'm gonna get some rest. exhausted......

2007-11-23T22:07:00.001+08:00

updates!!!!! :P lol.. because i've got a new bed :) haha.. yes, i'm easily satisfied... its bigger than my old bed after all, how can i not be happy? haha... hmmmmm.... my dear monkey boy's starting school soon too... congrats :) i'm so proud of you!!!! *muacks*

dance tomorrow from 11am till 2pm and then a movie outing with dion and gang. yup yup....going to m'sia on sunday..... wohoo!!! yes yes, its just m'sia... but at least its somewhere. i need a vacation... lalalala.. looks like i'm gonna be really occupied... :P

2007-11-15T22:48:00.001+08:00

ahhhh!!! hahaha! updates...well, i think that i'm still not at the level that i'm aiming for cause there's still something that the rest of them have and that i don't... hmmm... just can't seem to get that in me... :) its ok... i'll just try harder... yup yup... safy!!!! train harder in everything! lol...aight..i know that my post is super random... but i just felt like blogging about something. :)

2007-11-09T21:57:00.000+08:00

watched stardust today. it was a pretty good show, in my opinion at least. met with john after school, or after lunch with sze and min rather. had macs... well, i swear i'm eating too much of fatty and heaty food lately because i've got a huge ulcer and the worst part is that i keep biting into it cause its swollen. haiz. see? like i said, nothing's going right.

econs lest tomorrow... hope i'll be able to do it well.. i just wanna start off well in university, i've made too many mistakes in the past...shall do my best tomorrow even though its just a test :)
well then, i guess i'm off to watch some tv..

p.s. , to you and only you:

this is why it has always been hard for me to tell you these things truthfully.
its not that i wanna put you down.
i mean, why would i?
its not like i want the impossible.
none of this has anything to do with me.
i'm saying it for your sake.
why can't you see?
i'm afraid of how you'll take it, and thats why i could never talk to you properly about it.
this was the exact reaction i was hoping not to get.
its all for you though... your sake.
can you even rely on yourself now? only you can answer that.
can you trust that you'll be fine at this rate?
its not all about "living for the moment" now, as you used to say.. remember?
you've done alot for me.
i'm sorry if you don't see it the way i do, but this is my way of doing something good for you for once.
i don't expect you to understand this now though.
but i do hope that one day you will and that one day you'll know why i say these things.
i'll just stop here cause i've said all i could.
its up to you really.
i don't wanna be a nag...seriously.
take it as you will.
its just that... perhaps, all i ever wanted was the best for you...

FAILED... again

2007-11-07T11:45:00.000+08:00

i don't know what's going wrong with me. this year's been really bad.
to summarize it, i failed at everything i've given a shot at.

I've failed....
1) my ballet exam (mind you, i love dance and i still failed)
2) my piano exam
3) my driving TP test
4) to prove that i can jolly well stand on my own two feet at this age.
5) to be responsible enough
6) to buck up
7) to live up to my own expectatons
8) to make my parents proud of me
9) to be proud of myself
10) to do well in the A levels (yes, i thought i was past that, but it seems like i still regret every
thing about it... how i didn't work hard enough and how everything would have been
different if i just did well enough.)

i'm aware that there's no use crying over spilt milk. but why do i still feel like so much of a failure. oh yea, i've got 10 perfectly good reasons. i couldn't get anything right this year, absoutely nothing.......maybe its because i didn't try hard enough? are these just excuses? i just haven't been able to do something well in a very long time. its not easy facing failures after failures. i'm not sure of what i'm doing wrong though. take for example, 2 years of studying for the piano exam and a failure because i was freaking nervous on that very day? tripping on notes that i'd done so well in before? was it bad luck? was i just bloody unprepared? was it nervousness? are these just excuses rather than reasons since i had 2 years to brush up on everything whilst others took 6 months? i don't know what happened to me. i'm really feeling sucky... a whole year of failure in everything.... its not easy to swallow. and yet, i can't seem to be able to pull myself out of this dirt hole. i'm letting everyone down..... most of all, i'm letting myself down. its the worst feeling ever....its like getting stabbed over and over before i can even recover from the last one. perhaps all of this is because of my own doing... after all, i'm the one who took all those exams, whatever i did within that time frame was up to me... hah... its funny when you realise that you've caused your own failure in life. its like i've dug my own grave. why is it so hard to just accomplish something for once... to do it well and be proud that I'VE done it.. the feeling that it's because of my own ability, the results of my own efforts that got me this far. i miss that feeling. i need to focus....FOCUS DAMN IT!

why...

2007-11-03T16:25:00.000+08:00

yup, was just reflecting on the past few years and even now. i guess i can't help but wonder why....

1) why i never seem good enough?
2) why everyone still thinks i'm filthy rich..it has gotta stop someday when they finally take a
step back to see the whole picture.
3) why is it that no matter how hard i try, i don't get to have those experiences that i
crave for so badly.
4) why is it that i can never excel in something PROPERLY...and not drop halfway.
5) why is it that i'm always in the background..and if i might add, STUCK THERE.

damn, this like applies to every aspect in my life. it has always been this way. why can't anyone see. i know this really sounds like i'm having some self sympathy kind of issues going on. it doesn't have anything to do with that really. i'm trying, i really am. its just that... sometimes, i wanna be told that i'm good.. not just average... not just always at that borderline mark. i'm sick of it. i know i can do it, i know i can improve... but it seems like no matter how much i do, i always feel rather inferior in a way. others simply walk in and get everything, they just become a "somebody"(well, i don't know how else to put it). maybe i'm just being overly conscious about this. This may sound like some kinda attention-seeking/selfish comment but, i guess sometimes i want the spotlight too. its just me, my goal, its something i set my sights on. after all, everyone has something they want. its not that i want it all the time, is it wrong to want to feel what it's like? some people walk in and they just have it. the X factor that makes everyone respect them, or whatever you may call it. they get looked up upon at least. going by day after day and not being acknowledged at all for what you can give or what you've done. it really does suck to be over-looked all the time..........

arg! ok...there! a very very selfish post. but i've just been feeling this way for awhile now. just had to bitch about it...hah! my seemingly over-attention seeking post... well, i don't really mind about what others may think of it since i'm used to people judging me without taking a second look. it is human nature after all...

2007-10-24T21:30:00.000+08:00

yo! :) so i guess i'm having a lil trouble trying to keep up in school.. its like i can't really understand anything now. there's so much to absorb :( wonder how well or badly i'll do in the exams really....kind of depressed since everyone else seems so look like they understand what's going on. and tomorrow's class just happens to be the worst of the lot, IBM... haiz. how am i ever gonna get those 2nd class honours. i can only dream about it at this moment. its hard, and its only gonna get harder.

oh well, dance tomorrow, to go or not to go? kinda lazy cause i'll have to wonder around from 3 till 7 if i do go for it. plus, this is kinda random, but i need to bitch bout how i'm breaking out in pimples....it hurts like hell for some reason. and its so damn red!!!..it must be the darn stress i'm having. fuck.

2007-10-17T23:00:00.000+08:00

ahha! its been awhile since i last updated. was feeling pretty lazy to come online to update stuff :p firstly, happy birthday to my dearest mushroom of a pal. :) , the 19 year old with the mentality of a four year old. but its ok since its you we're talking about :p lol. and yes, an early birthday wish to the log since your birthday is tomorrow :) wish you two the best yea? blow out those candles and make em wishes! birthday lunch for lyn soon :) yup, celebrated min's birthday today. in fact, i just got home from it. well, it was supposed to be a seoul garden dinner but we decided to have it in gardens's cartel instead. lol..no complaints here since its nearer to school.. imagine having to travel from clementi to tampines man. omg.lol.. so the seoul gardening idea was scrapped. had dinner at cartel followed by dessert at ice cube plus birthday cake :) face it, what's a birthday without a cake huh? its like a MUST HAVE. lol. think we ate too much though. i'm seriously bloated. min!!!! our diet was supposed to start last friday! woman, you hear me??!!!!!!!! meow. i'm gonna grow horizontally soon. bloody hell, i hate to say it, but then i'll be both vertically AND horizontally challenged. now, thats an issue. a serious one. oh man.... ok safy, c'mon... you can diet!!! but nvm, since today was min's birthday, she has every right to enjoy it. worry bout the diet 2 days later, since lyn's birthday lunch is coming up also. lol!!!

nageb's class tomorrow.... urg! the frantic note copying and nerve wrecking class. haiz. my once a week heart attack...apparently he's min's love, life and organ.. LMAO! dance at 7pm too. its gonna be a tiring day. wonder what i'm gonna do from 3 till 7pm.. idle idle :)

2007-10-09T22:18:00.000+08:00

for some reason. i've got this huge urge to dance. lol.. and i miss him real bad... worst part is that he moved further away :( haiz... depressing... oh yea, my dad bought munchy doughnuts. binge spree for me :)urg.... fat-ness.... :(

2007-10-05T17:28:00.000+08:00

i failed the driving test today. however, i've decided that i'm not gonna rant on and on about it here. i've finished cursing and swearing .....been at it the whole day. it totally ruined my mood for the whole day since it was in the freaking morning! haiz...okok. enough of that. i think i'm gonna fail the piano exam too....wait,correction! i KNOW i'm gonna fail for the piano exam. mom's super disappointed with me. most importantly, i'm really disappointed with myself. its like i'm failing everything this year. can't seem to get anything done properly. its like my last chance in SIM too, to come out with a decent degree and not to screw it up like in the A levels.oh well, i'm gonna have to find out whats wrong fast and correct it. man, saying it is like so much easier than actually doing it. it always is, ain't it? *sigh*

2007-09-25T21:55:00.000+08:00

dance dance dance!!!!!!
i've got in! woohoo!
lol.. k, i ain't bragging. i'm just relieved cause i seriously thought i screwed up during the auditions.. lol.. oh well. dance on sat from now on. :P

2007-09-24T22:30:00.000+08:00

so i guess i kinda screwed up my piano exam today. nothing to be proud of though. it was really costly, thats the worst part..the other thing that i find really retarded is that i've been at this for two years in order to perfect the pieces and scales and whatsoever involved with the piano exam syllabus.i'm horrible at playing the piano, i know. its just not my cup of tea. i feel stupid since i've been at it for 2 years and i'm still this lousy... there's no more excuses for me this time. the only thing good that happened today was that i got to spend some quality time with john and my cousins... yup. i even forgot that i had to teach tuition today. i definitely lack concentration. its dragging me down. i can't seem to accomplish anything properly like before. its like failure after failure these few days. its like i don't know my priorities anymore... its like i can't focus on what i should be doing. hah... that brings me to the topic of studying. was supposed to do that today too. but yea, you guessed it. i didn't.... and now i'm too tired to study after a whole day of activities. i hate failing at what i do. i hate not getting any progress. i hate not being able to focus. period! *sigh*

2007-09-23T21:24:00.000+08:00

i think this is retribution....min!!!! good news to you.....bet you're gonna be damn happy. lol. maybe i shouldn't have mocked that bogeh mouth of yours..hmph! i'm not gonna apologise though. haha. meow.. i've got gastric and i can't take any dairy and fried food... arg!!!! the horror. my food!!!!! what else can i possibly eat now :( now both min and i are sad pigs. come join the club ppl.....

2007-09-15T20:32:00.001+08:00

hey hey!
so we went ice skating today :D all the way to jurong after school to meet dion, jon, daryl and steph. lol. yup, the two johns and two stephanies. we're a funny bunch alright! :) and yes, it was kind of my first time there. so i'm a newbie to the whole ice-skating thing. even though i was told it was just like roller blading, it was so damn slippery. especially with all the foam everywhere, that just made it even worst. fell like 3 times and now my butt and ankles hurt :( oh boy, the figure skaters there were da bomb, as in they were darn good. i was like such an amature, totally embarrassing. hah!
anyways, it was really fun... loads of laughter and all :) i still prefer roller blading though, lol..since i have much more control of it. oh man, i've just gotta say this again! the figure skating was so beautiful and graceful... can't deny that... i wish i had taken it up when i was younger.. kinda late now , plus my flexibility is retarded, let alone my sense of balance on ice. lol.

anyway, we left when our time was up, it was just nice cause it was only then that they decided to level the ice again. lol. it was getting too wet to skate anyways. went for dinner and then left for home. was pretty tired since i was out the whole day, including school. hmmmm... dropped by heartland mall before going home to get baby's mac and cheese since he wants to make it for his chalet. bought our waffles and then left for home.. finally :) my bath never felt so good. lol. :p aight. i'm off to try choreographing my new dance.

dance dance :P

2007-09-13T23:20:00.000+08:00

hmmmm.. so i haven't been updating cause there's really nothing interesting going on now.
well, except for the two dance auditions coming up. one's next week for the school's dance competition team and the other's for uan's dance classes. baby helped me with the remix so now i've gotta start figuring out dance moves. man, i wanna do up a dance thats hot, as in fresh :) i've yet to get the right moves and flow yet though. i've got such a long way to go..oh man.. haiz..

another worry is that darn piano exam coming up in 2 weeks or less. i don't know if i'm even prepared. im kinda freaking out here. grade 7 really isn't as easy as i thought. excluding the fact that i don't really like to play it in the first place, its even worst when you pay so much for the exam, go there, miss a key and fail. it sucks really. i'd most probably enjoy playing the piano more if i were to play it for leisure. but i guess its kinda not the case and since i'm already this far ahead in my grades, might as well finish it right? there's only one grade left after all. i just wish it didn't have to feel like a chore. it just completely robs me of whatever interest i ever had in the instrument to begin with. hah! well, enough said. i'm just real nervous cause if a fail this grade, i wouldn't be able to move on to finish the course. eeeks! the horror... started in primary 2 and i'm still at it. shouldn't have dragged it on so far. could have just finished it like in sec 4? well, inclusive of theory exams of course.i prefer those so much more. its not as stressful to me at least :) urg. i'm just gonna drop the subject.. it makes me feel shitty just talking bout it. i just hope i can pass this exam...yup.

2007-09-08T23:58:00.000+08:00

MAN! I FEEL LIKE DANCING, YEA!

lol. went out with baby and the uan gang today :) yup, the 6 of us met at city hall mrt. went to grab a bite at raffles city and then made our way to suntec to watch the suntec dance finals :) woohoo!!!

anyway, we kinda got there too early. we thought it was at 6pm but it turned out that that was the heats and the real showdown was only starting at 7pm. so yup, we were extremely early. like 2 hours early. lol. so we walked around and stopped by at ben and jerry's cause our dear Dion( proclaimed herself the ice cream queen :p ) wanted to eat some real badly. lol. i know how she feels actually. ben and jerry's is da bomb. but then again, i'm gonna bring them to island creamery one of these days to get their money's worth of ice cream :P those are like kick-ass GOOD! lol. one day.. :) anyway, we sat above the fountain area which gave us a much better view of the whole competition. we're smart :) the others came soon after .. it was like some big reunion .. oh boy, i realised i miss em so much. lol. its been such a long time since i saw them. :p well, the competiton was really really good! i swear they're really talented. i envy them. makes me wanna improve.. makes me wanna DANCE :) lol. hey, its been awhile k?

after the whole thing, we left for dinner, a very late one. practically every stall was closing already. so baby and i settled for prata. freaking expensive prata! the rest left for hong kong cafe :) didn't follow cause...well, i had to be home early and i guess i don't quite fancy the food there:) so yup, something simple for dinner.

i'm just really glad i managed to meet up with everyone today. :) its been an extremely long time since i did. hmmmmm... next week is packed with stuff to do again :) outings with baby, ice skating, sze's place, school, giving tuition.... bleah! lol.. :) its gonna be a busy busy week. but then again, i think its gonna be really realy fun too :) i can't wait :p

2007-09-04T16:11:00.000+08:00

hey hey!!! lol. i've finally got my new blog skin! many thanks to my dear mushroom since i'm an extreme idiot in this field of work. i swear i'll never understand how it's done, let alone try.haha...because i'm certainly in no mood to get myself a migrane just trying to figure this thingy out. :P but for now, i'll just enjoy my new skin. its kinda cute ain't it? :)

2007-08-26T22:35:00.000+08:00

TODAY!!!!
lol, sentosa!!!,
baby, josephine, dion, jonathan(dions guy) and daryl :)
fun at the beach,
fun in the sun :)
cool pictures!
babes and hunks in da house!
it was really fun hanging out today :p
pure fun and laughter.
woohoo!
hotdogs for dinner at vivo :)

and if you're wondering why i'm typing like that, it's cause i'm tired!!!! lol.. exhausted from everything. dance and then straight to sentosa. plus i think i still got a tan even if i put like almost a full bottle of sun block lotion on myself. lol.. it didn't work! i'm a sad sad pig :( anyways, later ya'll! i'm gonna retire to my bed. it looks super tempting from where i'm sitting :)

2007-08-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

the girl with an attitude. yup thats me alright...the girl with an attitude problem. thats how i feel lately.how am i gonna go about it. its me... its been me for the past few months. i just can't learn to accept certain things. call me selfish or whatever it is, i'm already aware of it. hah. maybe its time for a change. ARGH!! . i don't even know what i'm typing now. anyways, sentosa tomorrow. hope it turns out ok, for everyone that is.

fireworks!!!

2007-08-18T22:49:00.000+08:00

yup, yesterday was a nice day spent with john. well, made our way to east coast at around 5pm cause we wanted to try the famous prawn mee there. but once again, it was closed. it was so disappointing cause i really wanted to try it and this is like the second time we went all the way there by cab and it wasn't open. :( cab fares are really expensive you know? so, to make it all worthwhile, or so we think it did, we made our way to parkway parade instead for some swensens :) ordered some sides. note : the cheese sticks there sucks. it totally ruined my taste buds for cheese sticks altogether. it was like made of cheesedale cheese and it tasted totally wrong with the batter. yucks! the calamari was damn oily and well, the US fries was probably the only dish that tasted delicious ( as always) :p . right on, after that walked around awhile and then left for suntec at around 6 plus/7? yea.somewhere there. bought some pie for my mom at suntec. its funny how i like to buy pies and all these kinda english snacks for my mom but not like to eat any of it myself. lol. amusing indeed, to me at least. hah! walked all the way from suntec to the stretch/ bridge leading to the merlion park hoping to find a good spot to watch the fireworks. although we were really REALLY(like 2 hrs) early for the show, the place was like filled to the brim. the crowd was damn annoying. lol.. don't blame me, i just hate crowded places,i need my space( yes i'm fat), i WANT my space. its annoying when people walk shoulder to shoulder with you, its like you can hardly move. yes i whine alot about these things but i can't help it if there are inconsiderate people who lie in the middle of nowhere.its like they take up alot of space intentionally and take their own sweet time to unwind from their sleep and to eat. its the exact behaviour of pigs i tell you! hmph! so when our "family of the day" decided to get off their arses to allow more room for others(note:2 hrs later), john and i managed to squeeze our way in to get a rather decent spot :) fireworks was late and lasted for about 15 minutes. same as every other year. left for home after that and i guess thats it:) was really tired.

had to wake up early for school today . like 6 in the morning! had a 3 hour lecture that was rather interesting. hmmm, come to think of it, i really do enjoy my saturday lectures. :) time passes really quickly when you're having fun :) lol! i'm weird sometimes. went to give tuition after that for 2 hours and then its rest time for safy!!! :P lol.. yes yes, rest time for me. nights ya'll!

oh yes, before i forget, i got a pretty meaningful quote for today. got it from some show i was watching earlier...

"sometimes you got to lead your life, not just follow it"

well, it makes perfect sense to me :) kinda trying that and hopefully i'll succeed someday :)

to KL and back again!!!

2007-08-13T12:03:00.000+08:00

YUP, I'M BACK!!! :)

the past few days were probably the most hectic ones i've had yet, with everything starting from Thursday morning till Sunday night(last night). after being in KL for 3 days, i've only got one thing to say, KL was definitely jammed!!! literally... i wouldn't want to live in a country that takes me like 2 or 3 hours to get from my house to the city. its not worth it. lets just say i'm used to and happy with my little island life. oh yes, did i mention that the cab drivers there are bloody corrupted? first, they pick customers depending on where they feel like going. second, they tell us the fare in advance without even turning on the meter. HOW CONVENIENT EH? . it must be good business working as a taxi driver there. hmmm..so anyway, lets start the ball rolling now shall we?

day 1 :) (Thursday)

woke up at that ungodly hour of 4.30 in the morning. well, actually, we all woke up late. mom was supposed to wake up earlier than that to do a little bit of last minute packing, but we all overslept. bloody hell, so you can just imagine the terrible rush within that 30 minutes of time we had left to get ready.plus, we also did an advance booking for a cab the night before for 5am. i probably had a personal record breaking time for my bath, trust me, its the fastest i ever went in and came out. and the three hours of sleep i had the night before didn't seem to be of any help either cause i really did feel like dying of tiredness before i could even step out the door. well, after that i slept the whole of that pathetic 40 minutes that we had on the plane, could hardly open my eyes. so yes, i can imagine being in john's position, since he didn't get any sleep at all. lol.. much worst compared to me. only thing is he didn't have to fight over the toilet with anyone. so yup. reached KL pretty early cause of the flight timing. checked into the hotel to unpack some stuff before heading out for some shopping. man, was i tired. its like there were no breaks since we couldn't possibly waste one day resting. note to self, travel at night next time. that way i'll have the night off and i'll start off fresh in the morning. anyway, that scenario wasn't meant to be. so yup. started off in KL's very own Chinatown!!! well, more like pirated market.. ooooo!! I LIKE! lol.. call me a cheap charlie but hey, i need to stretch every cent that i have since i'm not exactly loaded. i managed to get quite alot of stuff in fact, even got souvenirs for the girls. spent like 1/2 the day there before heading off to some mall which was totally a waste of time cause even with the m'sian sale, the things were still relatively expensive and not worth it.i mean, c'mon, brands like top shop and all these can be found in Singapore so why bother. i mean, the only things that were cheap in those outlets were the awful ones they wanted to get rid off.. though i did see a tempting offer for this hot bikini there. arg! wait till i shed off a few pounds than we'll see. cause that's gonna be quite impossible now since i pigged out like no one's business over there. so continuing from the shopping centre bit.....my mom and her friends decided to head back to china town after tea. why don't they ever listen, you don't bloody well shop in shopping centres when you go overseas, the sales are always pathetic and there's nothing new. so john and i decided to head off on our own. we managed to cover quite a bit of shopping without our legs breaking. i'm so proud of us :) lol.. the malls there are humongous !!!!! bigger than vivo city by like 10 folds??? OK..maybe its by about 8 folds. i mean, it already stretches over a longer distance than vivo(s'pore's so called biggest mall) plus, it has like 10 storeys?? so if you think vivo city is big, you really should reconsider. john and i couldn't even explore the whole place. i think we only managed to cover a quarter of it. well, so we headed back to the hotel at around 9-ish? cause we were really dead-beat by then. had a lovely shower and then went down to have a buffet dinner. that's how day 1 ended, with us falling flat on our faces on our pillows, completely knocked out.

day two ;P (Friday)

alrighty, woke up feeling, well......tired! but it wasn't as bad as the day before so it was alright. met up with my mom's friends then we headed to another giant shopping centre that had this uber cool pet shop that sold sugar gliders and hedgehogs. well, that has to be the only good thing bout living there. you get to keep all these cool pets. they're totally adorable i tell you! shopped alot more.... john had his baskin and robbins ice cream and he totally fell in love with it. oh yes! not forgetting the donuts we had :) dunkin donuts!! there was like a wider selection as compared to ordering it in s'pore, and it was fresher too. i reckon its because they bring the donuts in from m'sia instead of making it here. plus, they don't even have the complete selection over here. oh man, i feel cheated :( had quite a bit of dunkin donuts. we definitely binged alot during this trip.... heavy breakfasts with heavy lunches, followed by tea and dinner. bought quite a few new tops, accessories and lingerie. yay for me :) oh yes, and i made the most fascinating yet disturbing discovery. we met quite a few CHINESE people along the way in m'sia. but problem was, they couldn't understand or speak a word of chinese. i mean, they ought to stop embarrassing themselves by speaking malay. they can't even speak it properly and they really make it sound funny. omg! urg. guess we're not the worst out there after all. went back to china town in the evening to get more stuff. oh yes, i realised that i really love to bargain!!!! so sue me or call me a typical Singaporean, but there's no way in hell i'm gonna allow some guy to cheat me of my money for some imitation good. well, it really does look like the real thing, i agree. but its still bloody well fake, so some bargaining had to be done. and walah!!! i managed to get some pretty good deals in the end. or at least, i think i made good deals, i hope i did... :) went back to the hotel after the long day and ordered some room service cause we were too darn lazy to move our arses to the lower lobby for some ala carte. john and i had one of those stoned baked pizzas or whatever you call them deisy had her sambal fried rice that looked heavenly.mom and dad went out with their friends for the night :) so we had the room to ourselves, though i knocked out no long after. sorry for not staying up with you babe. was just really really tired!

day three (Saturday/ last day)

dad took us out of KL to some big big BIG shopping centre! didn't manage to complete that shopping centre cause of the time constraint and that bloody jam that KL is famous for. managed to reach KL at around 6pm. parents went back to the hotel to pack while john and i went to times square . they had Malaysia's biggest indoor theme park there. we didn't get to try it out though cause we only had 2 hours. good thing is, john bought his cardigan there, like finally! he looks good in it too :) rushed back to the hotel at around 8 plus cause of the water supply problem at 10pm. so we had to take a shower to freshen up before that or risk being filthy till the next morning. lol.. totally not an option for me :) aight, so that was that. the rest of the night was spent with us packing all our stuff into that new luggage we bought cause there were just too many new things.

day four (Sunday/ back in s'pore)

touched down in Singapore at around 10 plus in the morning cause we managed to get an earlier flight. we were lucky since no one really likes to travel back so early in the morning. :) well, i'm not saying i like to but yea, couldn't wait to get home cause i missed my baby puppies so much! lol.. got home, unpacked and took a nap cause of the lack of sleep.i was most definitely totally exhausted from this trip. BBQ at night!!! lol.. had a mini gathering which was really fun cause of the ridiculous jokes and laughter and of course, the company. i hope everyone had as great a time as i did! :p we celebrated joyce's birthday too. i really hope everyone liked their gifts, it was just a little something i wanted to get for everyone. we had to pack up earlier than expected because of the rain though. but all in all, it was great :) thanks for coming guys!!! love you all to bits!

AIGHT! so that was the end of yesterday! now on to today. well, today today......hmmm... think i'm gonna spend the day relaxing. lol. taking it easy a little.yup, awwww, this feels good. lol.. well, think i've got my day pretty well planned out, hah!!! except for the fact that i'll have to go out to meet someone for dinner with my family later, oh well. see ya'll!!!!

2007-08-08T22:41:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO!!! KL HERE WE COME!!!
ooooo....rushy rushy to pack everything. being a girl is hard.lol. i've so many things to pack. its just driving me BONKERS :) haha.

LOL.. anyways, i'll be back on sunday for the bbq :p

2007-08-03T23:13:00.000+08:00

yea!!!! started off the day nicely with some hotdogs from plaza singapura.. they're like da bomb i tell you! had lunch with min, john, sze and kelda. shopped in carrefour after that. min bought her fondue set!!!! woohoo! fondue for our dessert after the bbq next sunday. woohoo!!! yup yup. everyone went their seperate ways after that. john and i left for UAN to collect my pay and then left for lavender to update his passport for our KL trip :) YES PEOPLE! ITS OFFICIAL. WE'RE GOING ON A TRIP TOGETHER :P well, technically my family and mom's friends will be there too but heck! we'll still be together there :))))) all smiles from me!!!! went to gardens after that to meet andre at ice cube to catch up on stuff while baby went to sticky rice to hang first.since its lyn's first day of work :) . oh yea! here comes the best part, had my pay from sticky rice too. so its like double pay in one day. wasn't much though, but its still cash. its gonna help me survive this month. :P i'm alive and kicking again!!!

2007-08-02T23:00:00.000+08:00

SCHOOL!!!! 1st day... after 8 months of not using any brains, 3 hours of lecture just fried my brain. yes, it totally did.. was so exhausted by the time i got home that all it took was a good 1 minute for me to fall asleep. well, that was yesterday and this is now!!!slept for like 11 hours and woke up feelin pretty rejuvenated today :D lol.. lecture was a hell lot more interesting today :) i love my IBM lecturer!!!! he totally kicks ass even with that high pitched voice of his. lol. actually, he's the best lecturer i've had yet. at least i was able to absorb and understand most of the things he taught today, unlike the one we had yesterday. laughter really is the best cure cause i've been feeling really energetic the whole of today, even now!!! hell, i even survived the 2 hour tuition that i had to teach today. well, its something that i sure as hell would have not survived if it were yesterday. i'd most probably blow my top at him. lol. hmmm..last but not least, lunch at pizza hut with min, sze and kelda :) pizza for me!!! lalala.. fats galore!!! omg! but i love it! and yup, my lovely hotdogs for me tomorrow cause i'm meeting the lovely bunch of ppl.. lol..couldn't get any better, hotdogs and good laughs. oh!!! oh!!!, and money too!!! cause i'm gonna collect my pay for some tab tv programme i acted in. so yup yup.. programme should start in november i think. and i only did a minor role, but well, its the experience that i'm gathering, so thats all that counts. :P see ya!!!! can't wait for hotdogs...

2007-07-31T21:20:00.000+08:00

so school officially starts tomorrow.. though it doesn't really seem like it cause i'll start off going to school for 3 days at 3 hours each. lol..not much to fret about, so yay for me :) another thing to look forward o in weeks to come, KL trip during the national day week. in fact we're leaving on national day itself, talk about being patriotic, oh well! lol.. and when i get back, its BBQ TIME!!! woohoo! haha.. aight can't blog much now. off to help john with a couple of stuff.. :P

2007-07-28T17:08:00.000+08:00

simpsons movie yesterday!!! :) trust me, its like the epitomy of stupidity. well, i guess thats what made it so darn funny. john couldn't stop laughing, thats for sure, he was probably the loudest of the lot. lol. ate those yummy hotdogs at plaza singapura again, but for lunch this time.i tell you i'm definitely addicted to em. it makes you wonder if the people working there actually get hotdogs for their meals. talking bout the hotdogs only make me crave for them more, so moving on!!! went to the istana park after the movie to talk. well, i guess it was good. i mean, it really helps both of us alot. so all in all, a simple and relaxing day out. :) i really did enjoy myself :)

2007-07-17T12:36:00.000+08:00

it hurts.
i need someone now.
i want to be held again.
by only you.
i need to be embraced ever so warmly now.
this is when i need it the most.
but now, of what used to be that safe and warm place,
all i can see are thorns.
forbidding me from coming close.
forbidding me from coming close to the one thing that would make me feel better.
forbidding me from the one place and the one thing i feel i need most.
this insecurity is too overwhelming.
the headaches won't stop.
please tell me it was all a joke.
tell me its a bad dream that i'll wake up from soon.
cause its the worst i've ever felt.
you promised...
just a few weeks back.
that you'd never hurt me.
but still, i want to be near you.
though it hurts more and more each time i try to get close.
i can't see that guy who made me so happy.
i can't mend myself like before.
i don't want to see those images anymore.
but they still won't stop, even in my dreams.
you were my pillar of support.
but its broken now.
i never had a backup plan for it, cause i never thought it'd fade.
you're crying, but i can't deal with that now.
i don't have the strength to anymore, even if i wanted to.
you were my world.
to let it all fall apart like that, its like ripping me in half really.
but still, i keep coming back.
because i want to see that person again.
cause he's the only one that could make me feel better though it hurts me to even look at him.
i still feel its a dream, a really bad one. a nightmare come true as many call it.
how could this have happened?
i'm fucking confused.
i wasn't the only one... was i?
even if we weren't like this 2 years back.
why is it hurting this much?
i was not supposed to feel anything for this.
it was none of my business!
it was 2 years ago. but it seems like just yesterday.
it feels like i just got hit hard on the head, its pounding.
it feels like i'm breaking up so much inside.
how much longer can i possibly hold up...
even if i'm still fighting to see that part of you.

when it all falls apart.

2007-07-16T16:48:00.000+08:00

i glad, cause now i know.
but somehow, i still wish i didn't have to face it.
i never wanted it to become like this.
its like, just when i see the finish line,
and all it took was just 5 minutes to bring me back to square one again.
why......
why???
its like being torn up inside.
a big part of me feels like i don't have the strength to stand up to this anymore.
yet, there's this nagging little bit of me thats still trying to find a loophole in this,
a way that could make me accept everything.
all i need is just a tiny ray of hope. someone to tell me its gonna be okay.
i feel so lost,
happy, yet sad, yet angry and yet disappointed. its to the point that i feel i've lost everything in a flash.
now all i feel is nothing.
or rather, i don't know what to feel anymore.
maybe its good that i'm numb to it all.
yet, images just keep flashing through my mind.
i want to look at you the way i used to...i truly do.
i loved that the most.
but now, it hurts every time that i do because all i see are those images.
and it hurts dammit!
i really do want to erase it all, but it just won't go away.
i don't even know why i tear for, it won't stop every time i look at or think of you.
i can't stop the images from appearing, and it just gets more painful each time.
i'm scared,
its scary when ur numb in situations like this
so tell me, what should i be feeling huh?
what should i do?
i feel so lost and confused.
i never saw it coming.
please help me... help me understand.
cause i'm feeling really unstable as of now.

as far as i know, there is only one thing i am sure of now.
and that is that i don't want to see you cry, i never did like seeing you like that.
it just adds on to what i have to deal with now.
so the only logical thing i've to do is to comfort you.
regardless of what i feel.
you need to be stronger than this.
it won't do you any good to just sit there crying, you should know that by now.
help me...just help me.
i need to know how to deal with this.
its falling apart, everything is.
........starting with me.

happy day!

2007-07-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

yup. the title says it all.. had a lovely day with baby. a long awaited one actually. met him for lunch in the afternoon then went back to his house to just chill out. it was really relaxing. well, its something we both needed i suppose. oh yea :) ben and jerry's for me today.lol.. decided i should spoil myself just a lil with a tub of chocolate fudge brownie :p mmmmmmmm...my favourite.. but i still think island creamery's is better though.. cheaper too.. hmmm..nvm..when school starts i suppose it'll be easier to just pop by to buy some. heh heh.. :P went to bishan to catch some harry pothead at 7 after my driving. theatre full of kids! which kinda sucked because they can get pretty noisy and annoying at times. anyways, the movie was alright i guess.not too impressed. or maybe its just because i'm feel really exhausted today. more of lethargic i think. just got home from the movie. the bed's really tempting. lol. oh well, gotta wash up first :)

but all in all, happy happy day for me :) hmmmm...outing with min and sze next week i hope.. c'mon you two!! pick a date!!! :) shall we go food hunting too ?? food food food!!! heard there's this new cheese fondue thingy at pizza hut.heard its nice. min??? you reading this ??!!! lol.. lets all try k??? :)
bye bye now :)

freshies day...

2007-07-10T21:30:00.000+08:00

SIM orientation today from 9am to 2pm... yup.. "freshies" as they call us. sounds disgusting but thats how it is for now. crashed the orientation today actually, since i didn't get my package on time.. stupid uni sent it yesterday morning and i got it when i reached home today. lol. oh well. so guess i'll be going down to SIM again tomorrow to pass them back the form before they decide to send it back to me late again. gonna settle the tons of bills for the course too... man, it really does cost a bomb. super exhausted today too.. so i ain't gonna type no more.

2007-07-06T23:30:00.000+08:00

lunch with min and john at kovan.
work after that.
terrible day.
whats new?
yup, that sums it all up.

i thought i knew.
i thought you understood.
i guess i was wrong,
guess i was just asking for too much once again.
selfish, yea thats me... its gotta be me.
cause there are still things that i cannot accept in this world.
but somehow i feel you proved me right on something.
though i wished it would never happen.
i'm beginning to see the whole picture now.
something that words could never explain.
i don't mind taking the blame, really.
so look, guess i'm back to square 1 all over again.
well, at least i'm not the only one.
then again, who am i to say anything huh.

2007-06-30T23:51:00.000+08:00

hey hey!!!! i'm just so happy today!!! woohoo! its like the first time in so many weeks that i finally had a good day :P lol... its like everything's going right... finally.. after so many disappointing times. i'm finally able to pick up from where i left off.. no more instances of feeling so lost without a direction in life, no more worrying, no more fretting, just reassurance... :) finally :) got the letter from SIM today confirming that i have a place.. at least its somewhere... and i've got my new mac today :) just need to spend some time getting used to it, thats all..but its beautiful, my very first laptop.. i mean, its mine.. don't have to borrow my dad's or baby's anymore :) ok.. i'm just really happy today, so much that i can't stop..lol..still in disbelieve that i got 2 fantastic things today :P lets just hope its not a dream and when i wake up tomorrow it'll both still be there :P lol.. yay!!! lalalala.. met baby earlier too.. had some ice cream with cheese sticks with min while waiting for his work to end. went home together after that. yup yup:) thats all for now i guess :) lol.. ok..i gotta say this once more..i'm so FUCKING happy!!! lol..

2007-06-28T20:58:00.000+08:00

I GOT INTO SIM! fucking joy! :P ok.. thats it. haven't got the letter yet but i called them to find out :P heh heh.. ooooo...thats all i have to say .haha

2 words...AIYA DIED!

2007-06-27T12:06:00.000+08:00

well, jonny's pre-birthday celebration yesterday.. today's the actual day so yea, happy birthday!!!! :) went to greenwood fish market and bistro for dinner.. damn, that place is like super uloo! i don't even know how to explain where it is, its near buona vista mrt, yet its near bukit timah. so yup. the directions don't really cut it. even if we would have taken the bus 74, we still wouldn't know where to stop cause it was so FRICKIN far in!! anyways, we cabbed there from the mrt station in the end. and yup, it was no where near the station alright. so we got to the place on time, went in and got seated while waiting for the rest and the birthday boy. it was kind of a suprise thing. it all went well though :) he looked really happy so i guess it was worth it( the travelling, i mean). oh yea, the food there was really nice (all types of fish, crabs,oysters..its all seafood basically).... and expensive too :( my wallet was literally murdered, slain, shot, whatever you wanna call it. its like there's a big FAT hole there now..i've got no more cash for the week :( what about dinners with baby and the movie we planned and the donuts we ordered!!!! arg!!! money money money... it makes people go hay-wires. its happening already!! lol.. had to bus home in the end, thank god for the 7 bucks in my ez-link card. well, at least it wasn't the worst of situations when we wanted to go home. that'll be if i had nothing in my card too... die.....hmmm... so besides the money issue, we had a good time.... good laughs, good photos, nice moments, and yes, of course not forgetting the classic birthday moment, the CAKE in the FACE gig. lol... hell, jonny was wearing the shirt that baby and i gave him for his birthday :( now its all dirty.. he BETTER use it again after its washed though ..the shirt's really cute :) it says, "AIYA DIED! DONKEYKONGEY"S HEAD HAS BEEN PAWNED FOR 200 GOLD".lol.i guess not everyone will get the joke when its written down... you gotta say it to get the effect.. and the effect can't be achieved by just anyone, its gotta be jonnay dokie :) jonny's a really funny guy when it comes to pronounciations..lol.. tongue twists?? maybe so... lol. oh yea, champange to top it all off after dinner.. cockage was 15 bucks times 2, think its quite standard. and dinner, amounted to about $300 plus. lol..ahem! lets just stick to fish and co. :) but yea, at least the food was good for the price we paid. well, one thing's for sure after last night. i'm gonna have to eat at home for the next few days.. i'm gonna be so bored being stuck at home till i get my pay next month.BUT, at least i've got baby's company :) heh heh...

hmmmm... apple laptop soon!!!!! woohoo!!! and baby says he's gonna share it with me.. that sly fox.. lol. he just wants to mess with the functions :) *hugs* i'm so looking forward to personalizing it. lol...itchy fingers, thats me! oh yea, and we found a new look for baby. he looks damn good in it too. but the change in wardrobe is gonna blow another hole in his pocket for sure :( so we'll take it one step at a time. :P yay! he just looks really classy in it. well, unlike some stupid ah bengs, he can actually pull off the look.you'll see.........my HAWT boyfriend :) lol, ciao!!!

2007-06-15T23:18:00.000+08:00

fantastic 4 today :) it was alright i guess... lacked fighting scenes.. it was more of saving people from falling or getting hurt and all these kinda things. so yup..no super duper exciting fighting scenes for us today... but it was still nice :) had hotdogs today!!! utterly sinful and addictive.
walked around after and before the movie then left for hougang...

ok.. so this is where that embarassing scene happened.
boy(somewhat around 5 years old): mummy ah! i want to shi shi... (bloody hell, don't know why
they use such an aweful expression..geez)
*mom takes out tiny white plastic bag*... and when i say tiny, its tiny.
*grandma starts pulling down boy's pants while talking like she's the only one in the damn train*
*boy pees right smack in front of everyone*
and yup, everyone on the damn train was staring(the people in our section of the train that is.).. its so disgraceful. what happens if there's some pedophile... omg.. i don't even want to venture there.the lady is seriously dumb.. i mean, thats her child!!!! ok..so its none of my business.. but i think its a horrific sight. both of them should have known better.. they looked like perfectly educated people. well, i guess it depends on how you define educated.. but ya.. it was gross.
i mean, the stares they recieved throughout the journey all the way to hougang didn't even bug them a tinch bit.. urg...thinking about it makes me sick..and i can't help it cause i thought people would have known better by now... example, if the kid wants to pee, alight at the next station.. do it discreetly or bloody well look for a toilet for crying out loud... there should be one around. plus, the unsightly scene of her just holding onto the bag of pee that was clearly unstable.. well, thats the best way i can put it.. i mean, the bag's so small, the boy was seriously naughty..( i would have smacked the hell outta him...).. he was like messin around with his mom.. i was so damn disgusted.. hey! the pee looked as if it'd spill at the slightest wrong move. so i can hardly be blamed..urg... the next thing that came was just worst.....

3 stops before hougang,
boy: mummy, i want to pang sai!

WTF!! i swear, everyone on the train was just like ZOOP!!! the immediate stare.... ahha... thank god...nothing happened..k.. at LEAST they didn't go that far..they did have some form of brain after all. sheesh!

anyway, baby and i dropped by hougang mall awhile to get his speakers :) yay:) now watching movies will be way nicer:) woohoo!!! yup yup, got my tofu too... cravings again.. then, we went home after that..

on a very VERY BRIGHT note :) i had my very FIRST successful application for a university today :) lol... course for psychology...heh heh.. watch out world! here i come :) well, FINALLY!!! :) but i'm still gonna wait for the rest of the results from the other schools first before i make my decision :) yippee!!!! lol.. happy days :):):):)

2007-06-11T22:25:00.000+08:00

Shrek was rather... AMUSING :) lol.. i mean its ridiculously funny but in a good way:)

so i had lunch with baby at fish and co. today... well, that was after my driving class with that shitty instructor...won't dwell on that now.. ahem, we ordered calamari!!! new york fish and chips!! ( i guess i kinda got sick of the taste after awhile.. don't know why though, i'm a cheese lover. ) it was like fish dipped in batter with cheese.....mmmmmm.. kinda hungry now :( haven't had dinner.. but oh well, the diet has to start again.. lol. oh yea, baby had his grilled salmon... his main purpose of going there.. lol... poor baby didn't have room for his oysters ..lol.. morning sickness he claims... btw, it was 1 plus in the afternoon :P went to check out the movie timings after that , then left for MDIS to check out the courses there. i mean, i need something that i can count on right now. enquired abit and yea, it didn't sound that bad.. UK cert.. the only bad thing is that the fee is really high, it being a private university and all. time for some shopping after that... went to wisma and taka after the movie and baby bout 2 shirts :) one's really cute... hope he posts pics soon... left for home at around 7. baby decided to cut his hair before we went home.. so yup.. it was one hell of a long cut.. but i guess it turned out ok... still looks good :) well, i'm gonna go off now :p THATS ALL FOLKS :):):)

2007-06-06T22:57:00.001+08:00

aight...well people, i ain't boasting or anything k? but i'm just super duper happy tonight!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!! i'm dead tired, but i feel like celebrating!

lol..why you may ask??? cause i got an interview from NUS!!! i mean finally! well, its not entrance or anything, but at least its something right? i'm just happy i'm not really hanging on to some false hope anymore :) at least i've got something to look to now.. at least there's something..... a direction for me :) i'm just so happy now !!!!!! oh oh!! and...... i recieved my first pay today!!!!! double joy!!! lol... anyway, gotta prepare for tomorrow... OMG!! i'm so nervous... heard that the interviews are quite tough... oh dear... better prep up!!! :P daddy's fetching me tomorrow too :) so yup..its gonna be a busy busy day tomorrow.. plus i've gotta teach the boy at night.. so yup :)

ciao for now :) gotta go study for my FTT.. which is like tomorrow!!! .. wasted the free trial test on sunday cause i overslept... oh well :)

2007-06-04T15:19:00.000+08:00

HI YA"LL!!! say hello to me! the girl without a university.. not even a private one. this is like the saddest, most pathetic thing that could ever happen to anyone.. k...i've had my say.. going now. FUCK.

this is bloody fustrating.

2007-06-01T14:21:00.000+08:00

NOTE!!!
1) i absolutely HATE people touching my stuff, let alone altering how it looks without my permission or not putting it back where it was originally found.

2) i hate people poking their noses into my business. care and concern has an extent, hell thats not even called care and concern, its called being a nosey fucker.

3) when you're in the fucking wrong, admit it. don't try changing the topic just because you're the one in the wrong this time.

4) and yes, did i mention NOT to bloody well touch my stuff?! DON'T TOUCH, as in LAY OFF, FUCK OFF, DON'T HAVE ITCHY FINGERS...CAUSE I SURE AS HELL DON'T GO AROUND MESSIN WITH YOUR JUNK. this doesn't have to turn nasty, all i ask is that you respect me enough. respect my things damn it!

ARG!!!! okay, to make things clear, this entry isn't exactly pint pointing anyone. so no offence. its personal. i need to scream. you know, to let everything out. i need to hit something, i need to scream.... yea...... that'll help a whole lot.. to scream somewhere where people won't think i'm a psycho. cause i think i'll really go mad just repeating myself over and over again to these morons. suggestions anyone??? anywhere on this bloody small island. just somewhere.......

2007-05-29T11:31:00.000+08:00

yay!!!! so the dance performance is over!!! lol.. just that i was too tired to update my blog for the past 2 days. it was definitely a bloody tiring weekend. work on saturday night, came home late... slept late... had to wake up at 7am on a sunday.. made my way to redhill mrt... the distance can really kill... thank god i'm living in singapore and not in the US or something... imagine travelling from state to state, definitely far worst than travelling from hougang to redhill. arg!!! and yes, thanks to my dad, my poor zombie self was saved from travelling all the way there alone cause he fetched me there :)thanks dad!!!! love him loads :) lol... yup yup...so i actually reached the place a good half an hour in advance.so we drove around the area just waiting for time to pass. met daryl and hui ru at 10am. went to get that much deserved soyabean curd. lol..hey, i was craving for some of that for god knows how long. just that i was too lazy to go find a shop that sells it. lol, lucky me, there was actually a mr bean at the station. but it tasted funny though :( daryl did say that brand of soyabean curd was horrible...hmmmm...damn.. MY CRAVING'S STILL NOT SATISFIED!!!! meow...maybe i'll go grab some after work one day.

so yup, went to louise's house after that... OMG! her pups are simply adorable.. as in, she has four, 2 adults and two new born pups which were about the size of my palm... they were practically sliding across the floor cause they still can't walk.. which was an additional point for cuteness! lol.. 2 balls of fur... super duper pampered doggies... just like mine :)

ok.. so dance rehearsals after that at the place which was in sembawang.yup, tiring but fun... so its aight. went for a meal at the coffeeshop nearby after that and made our way back to get our make up done.. show started at 8.45pm. yup.. the many hours of practices seemed so much as compared to the performance.. it was over in a flash. man.. but its an accomplishment. we had fun, we did our best... now, its time for a new dance :P heh heh heh... we've all decided to try to choreograph a new faba dance. that'll be fun :) haha... i love dance, what else can i say. lol. woohoo!!!

k... so after everything was done, daddy fetched me home, which was lucky for me once again cause sembawang is seriously not my area.. and for a person who doesn't have much of a sense of direction, AHEM! yup yup. you get the picture, yes?

aight.. now on to monday,
almost couldn't wake up for work cause i was terribly tired from the activities during saturday and sunday. dad fetched me again! but this time to work :P hey, but it was only because he was going to gardens with my mom to buy a couple of stuff.. so i just hitched a ride..reached sticky rice earlier than i expected. so i had to hang around there awhile... i swear i've never been this tired at work. was practically dying till baby showed up :) was totally suprised... poor baby :( his back problem's back.. went to have some prata after work then we left to see the sinsei for baby's back and my weak ankle that keeps giving way... urg :( irritating. the sinsei we found was also another URG!!! he was really lousy.. don't think i'll be taking the medicine he gave me anytime soon... don't trust them. plus, baby's back still hurts! what kinda service is that man... wth.. 28 bucks per person somemore.. i feel cheated :( a china man and the lady who tried to act like she's from china. tsk tsk.. i mean, they can speak english but they refuse to. no offence, but they just insist on speaking chinese when we're obviously chinese idiots. its not as if we didn't try communicating their way. though i've nothing against chinese once in awhile. i mean, speak an international language please! both parties will be happier that way, and there! all problems solved..but no... we had to have the weirdest people around.in one corner, we have the chinese people who try the english slang and sound really horrible and stupid..just that they don't know it. i mean, if you're brought up in some other country its fine, its understandable that you've adapted.. but hello? living in singapore all your life and then trying to slang so as to show people you can speak the so called "proper" english? trying to impress others? but whats wrong with our way of speaking english? just like them, we have our own way of doing things too. it could be influence but haiz. you know, to put it simply, GET BACK TO REALITY! YOU AIN'T WHITE! and in the other corner, we have the other extreme where they only speak chinese! its so modern now. come on! ENGLISH, PEOPLE!! learn it. you don't even have to take classes. no cash needed if thats the issue. just observe. oh man.. we have a long way to go... ok, so then again, maybe its our fault cause we suck at chinese, maybe we should improve...but it goes both ways man. it takes two hands to clap after all.. so yup, i guess at the end of the day no one's perfect. but still, there has to be some sort of communication that we all understand? sign language??? lol.. ok.. but yea, its no offence to anyone yea??? just noting a thought or two. its fustrating when you're in that position. arg!! its like a duck trying to communicate with a chicken.lol..k.weird example, i know. but it makes sense right? i mean, we have the capability to learn. at the end of it all, that sinsei and his assistant are idiots.. don't wanna speak english although they clearly can. totally unprofessional!!! well, thats the first and last time i try other sinseis. *pouts* oh yea, something else just came to mind, i haven't gotten the reply from NTU yet... and its like 2 days to the end of may..great, now i'm really feeling lousy.

anyways, on a happier note, i'm hanging wth baby later :) that should perk me up :P

2007-05-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

fuck...so i just checked the NUS website... just had that gut-feeling to go check my status.. and, i got fucking rejected..AGAIN.... there goes my dream.. i feel like a bomb just dropped on me. haiz..i really did wanna get into NUS. Didn't really care bout the other universitys.. its a matter of personal choice.. but now, i guess its all gone. what else can go wrong...... oh yea, a rejection from NTU too.. thats the only thing that could go wrong now. gonna wait for that letter i guess. FUCK! nothing describes what i feel now... yup, regrets.............

2007-05-24T23:21:00.000+08:00

just came back from dance practice again. apparently a few steps were changed so i had to learn em. guess i'm lucky tuition could be pushed earlier so i could go for dance, or i'll be super left behind.
anyways, time to update bout yesterday.. was too tired to update yesterday so here it is now.
lets see, met baby at 2 and i swear it was one of those days where i look weird in everything i wear.. damn it.. its so fustrating when i'm rushing. lol.. don't know why i have to take one hour plus to prepare also.. i'm weird. lol. so... went to kovan to check out this jacket that was bloody nice. the only problem was that it was a guys jacket and even the smallest size made me look like i was drowning in it. so ya.. its a pity they don't carry the same design for girls... BOO! tried to psycho baby into falling for the jacket too.. well, at least one of us will have the jacket.. :) it'll look damn nice on him too.. ooooo...HAWTNESS! ok... opps.. lol..i don't know where that came from...damn bimbotic. haha. kay... anyways, moving on!
had pizza hut for lunch when i'm supposed to be on a diet.this is hopeless.. lol.. ordered those lunch time student meals. baby had baked rice and i had the personal pan pizza. :P

after that, we made our way to far east. had to hunt for my red sports bra for dance and a red jacket.found the red sports bra at heeren in the end :) bought it from new urban male :) i even had a discount for it.. but still, the price was still kind of a killer. oh well, its damn nice!!! no regrets :) baby helped me pick it out...

oh yea, so after the shopping gig, we went to cineleisure to collect the tickets first and then met the rest... the rest being:car, min, jonnay dokie, kevin and ernest.
had our dinner at the HIP DINER by Billy Bombers.. is that how its spelt? my brain isn't working well now..kinda half dead from dance... super duper tired.the food was...not bad actually.. but somehow the real billy bombers still seems nicer cause they have more to choose from in their menu.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN after dinner at 8.30pm!!! woohoo! the show was just as i expected.. it was really nice... well, except for a few scenes which were rather confusing. but overall, it was super!

left for home after that with baby, min and jonny..

oh oh!!! one more thing to add.. lol.. this is damn bloody funny! jonny's hair!!!! he bears a striking resemblance to llyod from DUMB AND DUMBER.. lol.. it was serious damn funny.. still can't stop laughing everytime i look at him..poor guy. lol.. well, ciao.. i betcha jonny's never gonna live this down... BWHAHAHA.. dang it! i forgot to take a photo.. heeeee :P

2007-05-23T11:52:00.000+08:00

aight... just gonna blog now cause i'm super super duper worried, anxious, depressed, excited, scared, nervous.....well, its about the university thing. i haven't gotten any letters yet.. well except for smu..but thats not counted cause i knew i'd get rejected from them. i'm just afraid i'd get rejected from the other universitys too.. i've just been listening to everyone talk about how many universitys have accepted them. heck! they even get to pick and choose from all the courses offered to them by the various universitys..they're so lucky... haiz.. it sucks to be me at times like this. i'm happy for my friends who've gotten places in the universitys or in whatever place they plan to be in, but i can't help being a tinch bit envious of them.. i'm only human you know.. but thats no excuse i guess..its only because they put in so much more hard work. i wish i had too... there are so many people out there just like me during this time..all fighting for a position. does applying to every university help? i wish i didn't get the grades i had, then i wouldn't have to be so "desperate" for a place in the course i want. i wouldnt' be on pins and needles like i am now, knowing that i'll get rejected but still hanging on to that little light of hope that perhaps i MIGHT get into my dream course. to get into a university would be a dream come true right now. if only i worked harder, i'd be relaxing like the people who made it, letting the acceptance letters flow in..taking my time to consider those that i want. well, having a choice in the course i want that is.

*sigh*...

guess i don't exactly have a choice now... no use crying over spilt milk. should have worked harder when i had the chance to. i don't even know what happened last year.. i don't normally score this bad academically. i mean, especially in important examinations. i should have known better. arg! boy am i feeling an all time low! i'm freaking out cause its nearing the end of may and i haven't gotten anything....NOTHING!

ok..i've got nothing else to say.. i'm just really really worried now.

well, i've got to go and get ready to meet baby. he's on the way home.
going to orchard to hang out awhile and to look for a couple of stuff for the dance performance this sunday.
i think i need to de-stress too anyways, before it kills me. ahhahaha.. going nuts just thinking about it.
maybe i'll have some fondue later...to drown my sorrows that is..hell, if i can think of food at a time like this, i'm really loosing it. hah!
gonna watch pirates of the caribbean later at night with my girls and baby and his friends.
i'll update tonight or tomorrow on how it went.
going off to change now..yup yup yup.

2007-05-20T23:37:00.000+08:00

hey! looks like i haven't been blogging in a long time.. lol...i'm such a pig. too lazy to come online.

aight... so lets see.. just came home from dance practice. the performance is next week. apparently its for the members of parliament. the dance is alright i guess.. just needs more last minute touch-ups. we'll get through it just fine :)

oh yea... urg..i gotta work like 3 consecutive days next week... and i'm in the morning shift for all three of them...brilliant.. that mean... tada! i gotta wake up at freaking 8am! haiz....... .such an un-godly hour to be walking around. its depressing... but since i need the cash, i can't be choosey now, can i? its quite inconvenient for fred if i keep changing the schedual too.. so nvm.. i guess i'll just deal with the early mornings. gotta look for a red top at kovan too for dance . i guess i'll go there after work tomorrow if i'm not dead tired... plus i gotta go for dance practice at the esplanade at 6.15 and UAN at 8pm.. gonna die from exhaustion.

aight.. thats all folks! lol..i gotta go try to sleep.. or i'll look like some zombie tomorrow again... we won't want a zombie look-alike waitress walking around right? :P ok... for some reason, that just sounded wrong.. urg.

we've been to food heaven and now we're back! :P

2007-05-15T21:30:00.000+08:00

OMG!!! firstly, whatever happened to my DIET?! i've been indulging in food more than ever these three days. lol.. but i guess baby and i are rather lucky :) other people only celebrate their anniversary's on one day...whilst ours is like celebrated over 3 consecutive days! lol... nothing but fun fun FUN!!! haha...i'm just super duper happy now... and super exhausted as well... i've been so tired these few days for some reason.. so tired that i couldn't even bring myself to blog. just lie on the bed and i'm knocked out.. geeee.... i wonder why. hmmmm...

anyways, so we just came back from shangri-la hotel..ate at The Line.. woohoo! thats THE place to eat man.. it has the best spread among all the buffets at any hotel. ask baby... plus, today was oyster night.. so it was double delight for him i think. lol.. urg..oysters arn't my thing though... but i'm so glad he enjoyed it.. its for our anni :) oh boy, i'm just so full now... we've just been to food heaven.. yup yup yup. don't have the photos to post here though... have to go to baby's blog for those... arg!! come to think of it... i haven't posted pictures for quite a long time.. hmmmm.. i'll do something about that soon.

oh yes, i'll update bout the past 2 days too...

SUNDAY:
baby cooked lunch for me :) hmmm....breaded chicken with cheese.. there were also side dishes like wedges and mozerella cheese sticks :) it not bad.. for his first time that is..it was totally sweet of him to cook for me like that..
oh..that was only part one of the whole day :)
baby suprised me with our new rings too :) black and silver ones ..yippie!!! there're so pretty..i love baby to bits!!!!!!! muacks! he went through so much of trouble to prepare all these things for me.. awwwwwww... *hugs and kisses* i really loved all of it.especially the ice cream that came much later on at night. :) thats really called sinful eating. we gotta run like 50 laps for this man. lol. but i really loved every moment that day.. thank you so much for the whole day. YOU made my day...JUST YOU :)

MONDAY:
had to work in the day again.. came home half dead ...left the house AGAIN not long after i reached home...for dance this time... yesterday has got to be the most tiring day i've ever had..i was damn tired.. ask baby. he came to fetch me.. and that day was supposed to be our actual anniversary date. meow.. but baby bought me a rose!!! the niggest one i've ever seen..lol..its called a holland rose? or something like that.. but its soooo big!!!!!! i love it!! haha.. it cost a bomb though... :( THANKS BABY!!! we cabbed home after dance cause i was really really EXTREMELY exhausted. the cab fare really blew a whole through my wallet too :( meow....had to book one because there weren't any around! bloody cab drivers..i swear they're all money hungry. won't pick passengers up unless they book a cab. asses!

ok..and as for today... dinner sums it up... the over-filling dinner we had :) lol.. on a bimbo note, we looked super glam today!!! bwhahaha... baby was hot! well, he's hot everyday, but today he was sizzling! lol :p

aight, now this next section is for baby!!!

hey babe, first, thanks for being with me through thick and thin all these years.
you've tolerated all my nonsense and you've been really patient with me.
i really do appreciate all that you do for me.
eight years ago when we first met, we were super young and nerdy remember? haha
ok fine, i was the nerdy one. lol
but yea... i never thought we would have come this far.
we've really come a long way.
i believe that what we have is very strong and that is something that no one can ever take from me.
we've gone through our fair share of bad times and rocky roads.
although we weren't always together, i always felt we were always close at heart.
we really do have something special :)
from the time i said we'd try again last year, till now. i've never regretted anything.
i just hope that you don't too.
i wanna do my best to make sure you're never sad.
i wanna do my best to make sure i don't let you down...
i know i've done alot of that in the past.
i've been trying to correct that and i think i'm getting somewhere at least:)
i'm gonna make sure that you'll be happy always :)
i don't like it when you're sad...it makes me sad too :(
i'm glad that we gave us another chance.
this time, we're more matured.
i can tell we're gonna be just fine now :)
i'm confident of it.
thanks to you, i've gained back that confidence after last time.
you're amazing, you know that?
*hugs*
i love you truck loads yea :) <3333333
muacks!
cheers to us!!!

hmmmm...with that said, i'm gonna sleep now i guess.. just really exhausted today too... nights everyone!

2007-05-11T20:49:00.000+08:00

My boyfriend:
1) joined me for a facial... its his first time. :)
2) had his eyebrows tidied up. (its not as gay as it sounds) ..just a lil tidying up only.
3) is so damn adorable.oh yea, hilarious too. :p
4) had his face poked like a gazzllion times today... his fault for having so many black heads.lol

lol...okok...before he comes after me for announcing this.. i'd better stop there.. lol.. muacks baby!!!!

so, we went to orchard after our lil makeover( he considers it a nightmare though) lol... went to cineleisure to watch the bridge to terabithia.. and i shit you not, that show is damn lousy... no wonder TNP gave it only 2.5 stars. its so.... urg! the worst choice of show ever.. :( it has almost NO storyline and definitely makes no sense to me... totally lame and unimaginative..i ought to shoot the director... so here's some advice to the rest of you guys who haven't watched it.... DON'T! ...lol anyways, ate subway after that and made our way home..

going out tomorrow to have penny's post birthday celebration.. and where better to have it than at....... STICKY RICE! lol..nah kiddin.. going there just cause its near and we get discounts:) oh yea, plus the food's good. :) hope she likes her present.... aight..ciao for now..

The difference is...

2007-05-09T22:07:00.000+08:00

just came back from dance practice despite me coughing my lungs out... don't know why i've come down with such a bad cough again. oh well, dance dance dance! i need to dance to let everything out i guess... followed by a cold shower to clear my mind. it feels really good to do that, except for the fact that i'm sick so yea.

since this is kinda like a diary,
i've gotta spill some stuff.
can't take it anymore.
no offence or anything...
i just need to do this.
i'm just feeling really shitty today.
i've said this before,
maybe i don't deserve any of this.
i guess deep down i know i don't.
i know i'm being selfish.
yet, i can't do anything about it.
i guess this is what becomes of a person who's too stubborn to change.
it sucks to always be in the wrong.
yet i tell myself that i'll be better next time, i'll do better.
but, i never do. it just gets worst.
it seems like i just keep failing at everything.
the only thing i seem to do well in is watching everyone get better.
at times like this,
i feel i'm the not one who'll make you happy.
you seem happier elsewhere..arn't you?
i can see it.
i've seen it many times before and even now.
the difference.
the thing is, i can't seem to let you go.
does that count as being selfish?
you're the only one i can count on.
does that count as being over-dependent?
you're everything to me.
what we have is so precious to me.
its so precious that it makes me so angry at times for some reason.
i guess its because i feel that someday i won't have that precious thing anymore,
because i feel like something or someone will take that from me.
is that being over-protective and too sceptical?
funny thing is, i know i don't deserve it in the first place, after all i've done.
there's so many things that are precious to you that i can't even accept.
you've done nothing wrong.
all you've done is accept me and all my flaws.
and what do i do in return?
make things even harder for you by not accepting something thats so important to you.
i know whats important to you.
i know what means the world to you.
and yet, i can't bring myself to terms with it.
i can't make myself accept them.
its not as bad as when it first started i assure you.
i've understood abit and accepted that bit.
but, there's still that major part.
i'm weird, but i feel it'll come between us one day.
you've never done this to me though. never! not once.
am i really cut out for you?
i feel like such a selfish person. what am i doing?
perhaps all i give you is stress.
i don't know why. or do i?
perhaps its my attitude.
its just pushes everyone away.
well, that explains it i suppose.
am i a good friend?
thanks to those who are always with me. love you guys.
sticking by me despite me being like this.
anyway, now i know why those things in the past happened.
now i know why you say those things.
the weird thing is,
it hurts, though its clearly my fault.
safy, what have you become?

there. i've said my due. i've bitched my heart out.
but i don't feel much better though. haiz...

2007-05-08T21:36:00.000+08:00

OMFG!!! i've been like so tired these days... work and other stuff i guess... the after effects? well, i think i'm getting sick again. yup, the same old throat infection thingy.. cause i feel as shitty as i did the last time i had the damn infection. think i'll loose my voice by tomorrow i suppose. back to taking medicine again which is basically just making me even more sleepy and intolerant of alot of stuff... my nose is like super stuffy too.. can't exactly breathe properly. i hate this stupid thing... it seems like it only comes back at the worst of times... with the dance performance coming up plus the practice sessions and of course with work... i guess thats taking a toll on my body...ahhhh!!! feel damn weak... this is so annoying i swear. tomorrow's gonna be my fifth day at sticky rice..yup yup.. so i guess i'll have to go in for work tomorrow, don't exactly wanna cause more inconveniences. dance practice in the evening for the competition, so i guess its gonna be a tiring day.

oh oh!! i finally bought my donuts :P was craving for them for quite some time. heh heh.. my secret donut shop.. the ones at raffles city and vivo are always so damn crowded... the one i went to doesn't even have a line :) happy day... yum yum.. okie dokie.. till tomorrow then :)

lastly, our anniversary is next monday.. but had to change it to sunday i guess...hope nothing else pops up for me. arg!! i'm oh so tired... and i gotta think of something to get for his anniversary present.. ideas?

HI!!! my name is strawberry, enjoy your meal :)

2007-05-04T23:49:00.001+08:00

As you can tell from the entry title (can you?, CAN YOU?!!!), today was my first day of work at sticky rice. it was not bad... quite fun actually :) john came along to help me out and to "support" me as he puts it. well, i guess it did help me.. it kinda helped me get used to this whole waitress thingy faster.. so yea, thanks for today. thanks for sticking around although it wasn't your work day.*hugs* and to the rest of you people out there reading this, come visit me!!!!!! but call first to see if i'm working there on that day :) the food there is damn good, trust me.. lol. plus, i doubt any of you will want to miss the opportunity to come see me as you've never seen me before. lol.. the GU NIANG at WORK. :P ..arg..that made me sound like a spoilt brat somehow.... i'm not k!!! meow... ok..lameness kicking in. lol.

as said in my previous entry, met min and car outside CJC bus-stop at 1pm and made our way to SIM from there. man, all the memoriesof CJC.. lol.. i mean, just by sitting out there and watching everyone come out of school.. i guess even if its not exactly the best of my school days memories, its still nice to look back to all the fun times i had there :)
I decided on the banking and finance course in SIM cause i figured that even if i wanted to take psychology there i'd need the maters programme and they don't offer it, so it'll be a complete waste of time for me. BOO them...no choice in the end , had to go for my second choice. apparently i'll be informed only like a month later. so yup, the waiting game starts again for one more university on top of the 3 others that i applied for. the anticipation is killing me... in a bad way of course. i'm worried sick. :( watching everyone get offered places in the university and course of their choice.. well, the guys that is, cause they've got NS. but then again, its still nerve-wrecking! wait a minute, did i mention that the application fee for that DAMNED SIM is $52.50??!! well, 50 bucks actually but plus 5% gst, there's your $52.50... bloody hell.. thats a huge fee compared to the $10 and $15 fee for NUS, NTU and SMU. and hell, its no where as good as those universitys..no offence though.. wow.. a whopping $52.50. lol.. and that'll be F.O.C for them if i don't freaking get accepted. arg!! that could have bought me PIZZA :( :( *sobs* *drools* shhhh....my diet allows me to eat lunch. lol.

ok, enough bitching here. moving on!! after SIM, we(as in john, min, car and I) left for island creamery.. man oh man! its been such a long while since i've been there. the ice cream's is so good!!! yum yum yum.. lol. was in love with this ice cream way before i liked ben and jerry's and i can safely say those two are on par with each other. lol. just that island creamery is cheaper :) nvm, cheap is good.. lol..kidding, i'm just being a cheapskate. but yea, both taste just as good. lol.

made our way down to gardens after that to get ready for work. and since we were early, we visited that pet shop again .. OH MY!!!! i think john fell in love with one of the bunny's there. though i must admit it was seriously damn adorable..simply a ball of fur. well, you've gotta see it to believe it.. who knows, it might be in john's house one day since pancakes might need a companion... and john? don't you dare neglect our baby pancakes. lol. she's just as cute! its just that she likes giving people fury swipes and especially to you john, its her own special way of showing her affections :) oh yea, carrying on from where i left off before i started blabbering, we hung out at ice cube after that for awhile since sticky rice was still not open. lol :P

work started at around 5.45pm and ended at around 10.45pm. and the balance info, u've already read in front. lol. :) just to add on, i've decided, we're gonna adopt an idea for sticky rice..among ourselves that is. lol. since today was kinda interesting at work, we're all gonna be named after fruits!!! yay! lol.. madness... this is in honour of mango( one of the waitresses, and its not her real name btw. its her pet name and it gave me a brilliant idea:P ). so here goes, i'm gonna be strawberry, john's gonna be banana, fred's gonna be durian.. lol.. meow.. shit, now he says he wanna be the pineapple.. oh well, pineapple then.. hahaha!! so there's mango, strawberry, banana and pineapple....not bad a combination.. lol.. yikes! this is complete madness.lol.. but thats what makes it so interesting yea? lol . we'll think of names for the rest tomorrow i guess. kinda tired now.. practically blogged bout the whole day, literally. bummer, gonna sleep now :) lol. nights ya'll !!!! :)

2007-05-03T21:30:00.001+08:00

i baked again today :) actually, just wanted to finish up the rest of the dough that was left over. lol... and i've got a suprise for baby tomorrow :) he'll just have to wait to find out... lol.. :p

oh, and today's tuition was not bad.. he's getting better at his math i suppose.. which is making everything alot easier.. lol..so quite a good day, except for the few outbursts of temper... :) everything's fine now though..

i'm starting work tomorrow too... had to cancel my dance practice because of it though:( i hope i don't miss out on too much.. oh man... hmmm...but nvm..quite excited bout work.lol.. yea, i know i'm nuts..but hey, might as well enjoy it.i think i'll be fine for a first day...we'll see how it goes tomorrow.. i need the cash too anyways.. going to sim to meet min and car first to settle some documents. yup :) its kind of a short entry today cause nothing much happened today really... till tomorrow i suppose :)

2007-05-03T21:30:00.000+08:00

BEACH TIME PEOPLE!!!

2007-05-01T21:20:00.000+08:00

oooooooooYEA!!!! i had a fun and relaxing time with my baby today.. went to east coast park to cycle :) and of course eat..lol. it was lunch see? yup yup.. had truck loads of fun with him.. ok, although it kinda rained on us, it didn't spoil anything.. nothing could:) cycled all the way to the jetty and back again. passed by the water skiing area which was uber cool!!! i wanna try that one day.. its so gonna blow a big fat hole in my wallet to have those few minutes of big big fun..lol..anyone wanna treat me to it? lol..kidding... YOU STINGY POKERS!!! awwwww...c'mon... someone??? anyone??? ok...now i just feel nutsy kuku. haha..feeling high today :) cam-whored today too.. like i said before, there's ALWAYS time for that. lol. hmmm....oh yea, did i mention east coast park was super duper crowded today? man, now i know why min didn't wanna go cycling on a public holiday. too many kids around and in the way, till they get lost and all that. alamak, headache! oh dear, that kinda made me sound like a naggy grandma... opps :)

there was a hell load of those qi-ko-pek blangas around too :( why do i always get the weird ones. i so wanted to best him up for staring..and not from a distance somemore, right smack in front of me. i swear if i wasn't so stunned by his guts, i would have chromed him there and then... arg!!!!! so degrading... meow..urg! psycho freak of nature. personal cheap thrills......and i'm so not happy that i was the unlucky soul.. bloody hell. nvm, just wait.. next time, no way man.. hmph!

okok...oh yea, we played with balloons too :) well, we played with the helium IN the balloon rather.. lol..it was really fun cause we had funny gay voices after we inhaled it.. real funny.. our own lil cheap thrill. haha.. baby was really amused, even more amused than me. its like his dream come true.haha..damn cute.

wanted to stay for some dance performance there but decided not to in the end cause i guess it was kind of a waste of time to sit there and wait for a few hours..i'll join if there's another one though :) was really tempted to join ...been having this dance fever in me these days especially.lol... hmmm.. anyways, made our way to jonny's place after that to meet him and sarah. thats his new gf btw... and yea, she's nice :) glad to see jonny happy too so yup, everything's good. lol. showered at his place then all four of us left for sticky rice!!!! lol...AGAIN! we'll go bankrupt if we eat there everytime i tell you. lol. but dinner was ok..although i'm NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE DINNER!!!! sobs..... why did i??? SOBS! I'M ON A FREAKING DIET!!! haiz..there's something wrong with blogger and i can't upload the pictures for today, i guess i'll have to do it in my next update then :( anyways,..lol.... i've got a date with baby tomorrow for spider man 3! lol.. ciao for now. :) HAPPY DAY!!!!!!! YAYNESS!

2007-04-30T23:13:00.000+08:00

i finally got to learn the FABA dance today!!!! woohooo!!!! well, had a PROPER lesson for once. lol. booked the practical lessons for my driving too... hung out at hougang mall for lunch with min and sze.. :) oh yes, did i mention i'm on a diet??? lol..well, I AM! and i'm sure as hell gonna keep to it until i loose 3 more kgs. :P just watch me..bwhaha..i'm hungry now though :( meow... nvm nvm, mind over matter!!! yes yes... lol.

anyways, gonna watch spider man on wednesday instead cause all the kiasu people wiped out all the seat availabilities on tuesday..i think they booked it like 3 days or 1 week in advance lah... who knows... bloody hell..

so i guess baby and i are going cycling tomorrow instead of the movie.. than we're gonna get some island creamery after that..miss that place man.. and yes yes, i know i'm on a diet, but just a lil taste won't kill :) lol.. i'm exercising by cycling tomorrow anyways:) yay!!! plus point for us. so we can eat that day :) i'm going nuts...i think i'm tired.. dance drained my energy.. i'll just stop here... till next time!!!

cookies!!!loads and loads of them :)

2007-04-26T22:53:00.000+08:00

baby and i baked COOKIES today!!! lets share the love people!!!! lol..ahem, share the cookies i mean. my bro refuses to eat them..i think the reason was something like i'm gonna poison him... bleah.. MORON. hmph! my mom tried it..so i'm happy enough..passed baby some cookies for his friends too... gonna wait for more people to taste it and comment:) anyways, i think we made abit too much today.. as in the dough.. but the cookies are damn nice k!!!!. lol.. i think i'll end up with diabetes if i eat everything..ok well, grow 10 times my size too... omg.. i just realised i've been eating alot these past few days.. what ever happened to those minute amounts of food i used to eat..... hmmmm... FOOD ADDICTION!!! wheeeeeeee :p its the sugar i swear...i'm like extra hyper now.. gonna bake more tomorrow i guess.. have to finish up the rest of the dough... then we're going to try baking brownies!!!! woohoo!!! lol.. food again :) it was nice baking with baby.. its our first time too, as in baking together that is. i sound retarded, i know.. but hey, i enjoyed it k? loads of quality time together and i'm enjoying every minute of it. haha. anyways, that was enough to occupy the day... i'm not even gonna begin describing the aweful night i had teaching tuition.. i was practically driven up the wall.. urg!!!..nvm,nvm... happy thoughts for now :) lol

going out with my dear besties and baby again tomorrow..lol..something else to look forward to.. i'm a happy happy girl :) love you guys :) oh yea, i definitely gotta let them try my cookies <33333 LOL..ciao for now!!!

food galore!!!!! :P

2007-04-25T12:03:00.000+08:00

so we had plates and plates of food yeaterday at seoul garden.. omg..thats like the most sinful eating i've done in such a long time... went to the seoul garden at takashimaya..i swear i didn't even know there was one there till yesterday...damn retarded. oh yea, it was a girl's day out.lol. min, car, lyn and myself. :) ahhh..there was just so much of food... meow..and i got burned while cooking the food cause i was kinda being a bimbo..i swear i didn't know what came over me k? lol. anyways, we're just lucky we didn't have to roll ourselves out of there after we finished..stayed there for like a total of 3 hours plus? yup...just eating...man...i'm feeling guilty.lol.. but since its a pre-diet binge as min puts it, oh well!!! :)

so left the place at around 3 plus then took a cab and dropped min off cause she was feeling piggish and wanted to go sleep.. that ass.lol...lyn came over to hang awhile though.. met john at hougang mall first to buy pancakes's shampoo and nail cutter... that bunny sure can give painful fury swipes, especially to john yea? lol.. so the two of them hung out at my place awhile..

well, this is kinda amazing after all the food we ate that day but.. we went out for supper again at 9-ish. roti prata at thompson!!! lol... yay:) i don't know how everything fitted into my tummy..seriously. aloy had a car...so that was good.. it was kind of a squeezy ride but at least we got to the prata place.the prata was damn good!!! arg!! but i still don't believe i ate so much yesterday..okok.. diet from now on... omg!!!
anyway, that was all for yesterday.. had loads of fun... loads of laughter too. :)

OH OH!!! heh heh... did i mention pancakes got its first bath today? lol..man oh man does it hate water..well, basically she hates bath time..lol.. she doesn't have a choice though.. she needs to stay clean. cut her nails too :) so i guess there won't be any fury swipes anytime soon... lol.

2007-04-19T21:52:00.000+08:00

YOOHOO!!! alrighty, since i was sooooo tired(ahem, maybe lazy) for the past 2 days.. i'm gonna update for yesterday and today.... NOW! :P so here goes :)

YESTERDAY...HMMMM...
oh yea, went to meet da jie and hui ru at the esplanade to practice our dance routine for this saturday's audition.. yup yup yup..so i think we kinda roughly got it..which is not good enough but at least we got somewhere... lol :) hmmm, still waiting for da jie to send over the vids though... so that we can perfect the dance. kinda excited bout the whole thing too.. heeeee :)
baby tagged along and waited for us to finish up at the esplanade..then we left for home. :) sweetness! ok...well, think that was all...
hmmmmmmmmmmm..... NOOOOOOOOO!!! wait wait! the big news of the day has yet to be announced!!! lol.. how could i forget?? dang..well, i managed to make it into arceknights!!! yayness!!! *dances around* opps..sorray! sudden outburst there.

okok...time for updates on today :)
had my first practical lesson today.. and no! i didn't ram the car into any lamp-post or longkang k? in fact, my instructor was really nice :) hah! i kinda stalled my engine about 2 or 3 times and jammed the brake a lil too hard.lol..it kinda sent the instructor flying forward.opps? but he did say i'm off to a good start..so i guess thats good :) min,john and i had our lessons on the same day..so it was really fun :) hehe... three of us left for hougang fter that to get some breakfast...was starving man.. :( i know i'm a pig...but i was hungry :( lol. then, baby and i walked around abit more after min left then we headed off for heeren to have some marche with my lovelies, penny and joyce :) yes yes, jonnay dokie was there too! he still owes me my present..that cheapskate!! lol.. :p hey, thanks for the birthday present girls, i really like it :) although its late! lol.. *hugs* thanks again!!! hmmm....came home after that to rest after that cause i had to teach tuition at 6.30...was really tired out man.. maybe its the un-godly hour that i woke up at this morning.lol. the after effects.. aight, i guess thats all for today then..

the next practical session's tomorrow for me! but alone this time :( oh well, i'll have fun :) ciao!!!

free cone day!!!

2007-04-17T21:39:00.000+08:00

today was a happy day :)
went out with baby after such a long while.well, its about damn time we did! :p
well, it was free cone day at ben jerry's today, so yup..
you guessed it!!!
time for the in-born characteristic of s'poreans to emerge...
BINGO! bet you guessed what it was immediately...
FUCKING KIASU-NESS!!! OMG...
the line just to get that free ice cream at ben and jerry's. its just unbelievable.
from the young kids, to the students who most probably skipped school for it and of course not excluding even the old.
everyone waiting in-line for more than an hour, heck! maybe 2 hours, just for that single scoop of ice cream.
just go BUY one for crying out loud. how cheapskate can people really get?!
anyway, baby and i had a damn good time laughing our asses off alright. lol. :P
even took some pictures of it..maybe he'll post em..maybe he won't..

so anyway, moving on!! we managed to make it in time for the 2.35pm movie at the cathay.. :)
yay for shooter!!! its a damn good movie... seriously... we loved every moment of it :)
hmmm...oh yea! we left for suntec after that.. it really changed since the last time we were there..top shop's gone!!!!!! arg! so is marche! :(

well, lol.. baby kinda got addicted to the "being a sniper" idea that we just had to find an arcade to play the game...yup...we found one, played the game and GOT RID of that craving. :P hehe.. muacks baby!
then we came across this other game that lets you win PSPs, hps, ipods and all those kinda stuff..
yup, baby played that one too..and he almost won the darn ipod. it was like so close!! like the "touch of a button" close. damn it.... *sulk*nvm..next time k baby? we're gonna try again..that damn machine ripped you of your 5 bucks..lol
walked around in carrefour after that then left for dinner cause we were hungry :) i swear i'm being a pig lately.
ate at surf and turf AGAIN :) ( ate there the last time we were in suntec) lol...
had mozerella cheese sticks as a side and had this damn nice chicken with cheese thingy while baby had a steak :)

anyway, was damn full after that, but i think i kinda ate too much cheese for one day.. got me kinda sick on the way home.. couldn't hang with baby in the end :( i'm so sorry :(
should remember never to eat so much cheese in one day ever again..do remind me!! :p

well, thats all for today i suppose. still feel like vomitting though...bleah!!! but i had a nice day :) thanks baby for everything today.. love ya!! *hugs* lets have more outings like this one!!! well, minus the cheese sickness. lol :p

prata prata prata for me :)

2007-04-15T15:27:00.000+08:00

right..so i'ma gonna blog bout yesterday since i was too tired to do it last night. bleah....

went out to meet the peeps from UAN :) yay... had fun..lol.. and just when i reached somerset to meet mas and merieth, they told me that the audition for A.C.Ts starts at 12 instead of 4. wth... so nvm... it was already 12.30 so i had to rush down to UAN first. so walked all the way back to NEL again... seriously, damn tiring to travel up and down. stayed in UAN for awhile then left with da jie and hui ru to meet mas, merieth and louisa :) met the rest in cine and hung out for while.. had to leave at 5 because of church which was kinda shitty cause i didn't really have much time to hang out with the whole group in the end.kinda our fault i guess cause we were slacking in UAN for quite awhile.lol.. its rather comfortable.. :P all in all, the day out with them was really fun since we all got high. lol.. or rather, mainly louisa. lol.. jumping around and going crazy with mas getting creeped out and all.. lol.. yea, it was fun alright. heard a few more people came after i left... awwwww... too bad i couldn't stay longer .... :( nvm.. next time we'll have another outing. yay!!! :) headed back to hougang for mass then went to gardens to have dinner at sticky rice with min. went there cause that shroom wanted to try the food there and of course to see baby . lol. after dinner, we left to walk around and waited for baby and jonny to end work which was around 11. had supper after that and left for home :)

wow....yesterday was kinda tiring.. meow...don't believe it.. out the whole day.. i swear the moment i got home, i took that much needed shower and SLEPT man.omg..that felt so good :) damn tired... but it was fun :) and all worth it.

off to meet min later for some prata :) had this craving for quite some time now.. :P couldn't eat this cause i was sick... i still am, but, heck..recovering..can't wait no more :P

2007-04-11T15:19:00.000+08:00

wow.. musical's over and things have been kinda relaxing lately.the whole experience was really exhausting but it was really fun and i enjoyed it...everything's peachy now..erm well except for the fact that i'm damn sick :( . haven't been this sick in a damn long time.. down with a flu, a high fever which keeps fluctuating, a damn bad cough, oh man... yea, i'm sick alright. medicine's my best friend...i can't even eat much anymore cause i can't swallow.. its pathetic... not fun at all.. :( can't spend time with anyone, especially him. its supposed to be the time when i'm the most free cause all my activities have come to a halt. damn it all. well, guess i'm gonna be stuck at home for awhile.. might as well go find things to do...

birthday?.... yea okay.

2007-04-05T22:35:00.000+08:00

well, where do i start for today. there's no word that really fits the description of today. its kind of a mix of emotions..in a way it was a nice day,but on the other hand, i kinda wish it never happened.as the saying goes, birthdays are overrated... i finally agree.

had lunch with john at sticky rice.. his work place.. thai food.. the food was quite nice...not bad.. i pretty much enjoyed it :) thanks for lunch babe. then hung around gardens awhile, then left for home.... left the house at 6 plus to go for the family dinner.. parents insisted. so oh well. dinner didn't go well, mom had issues at first during the cutting of cake, then when she cools off, dad starts during dinner itself. so yea.. scenerio just repeats itself. what a day...not exactly what i had in mind. after the "birthday" dinner, went to meet john again, his parents picked me up along the way and dropped us both off at gardens AGAIN :P, but to have dessert this time around. dessert was nice...created our own sundae. well, overall, i guess it was alright.. it could be worst. i enjoyed time with baby though. it was nice , thanks babe for today.

then again, sorry for everything else...

2007-04-04T22:37:00.000+08:00

i'm the HAPPIEST PERSON ON EARTH!!!
although i've been sick these few days...figures huh? since i haven't updated much..
either that or i'm too darn lazy to come online. lol. the bed's my best friend now...i think i really should go exercise..lol. :) but i've got an excuse for being a bed potato... i was sick! hah!

okok... anyways, to brighten everything up, tomorrow's my birthday :) and i got my pressie from my parents already... yippie!!!! woohoo!!! got that N73 that i wanted... yes yes, i needed an upgrade..stupid samsung was hanging on me all the time.... especially during the times that i was in desperate need for a phone.. darn it.. totally unreliable... hmph.. :(

arg..i'm being lazy again... don't feel like updating anymore... so sum it all up, hmmm, musical's this saturday...i'm quite excited.. but super duper busy as well.... hmmmm... and... and.... no more... i'm gonna play with my new toy.. :p

2007-03-27T23:16:00.000+08:00

will i ever be able to achieve my dream?
am i never good enough?
they say you're good. but you just don't cut it.
what does it take to live that dream?
maybe i was never meant to experience it.
but still, i yearn for it even more.
all i get are failures.
maybe they're signs.
or maybe in another way,
its like someone kicking you in the ass,
telling you to buck up.
i think its the former.
the latter just seems really ridiculous after everything.
just once.....
i wanna experience it... just once. is that too much?
or like i said.. maybe i'm just never good enough.

on the brighter side of things, i got the role that i auditioned for in media corp today. as in, yes, selected for the role.even i'm shocked. apparently i do look bitchy enough. hah!
but i guess its good. at least SOME things are still in my favour.
my feet hurt. thats the last ime i'm dancing barefooted...
well, if i do, the floor's gonna have to be clean.
the balls of my feet hurt cause of the repeated turns.
it was like so damn dirty and black earlier...disgusting.
feels good to finally have a bath. love this feeling man, so fresh.. :)
oh yea, and i love pancakes. she's so adorable. :) such a lil baby... awwwww :P
jewie and dutchess have a new friend :) nono, wait, they have a new sister :) haha!

I LOVE PANCAKES!

2007-03-26T22:19:00.000+08:00

i HAD a bunny, his name was tabby.he was wild as hell.
he was fierce and bit everyone in sight.
he made me afraid of bunnys and hamsters
cause they can bite you anytime with those sharp lil teeth of theirs.
well, they were still cute to me...all animals are.
NOW......
WE have a bunny. her name is PANCAKES :)
she's sweeter than sugar i swear.
she's so gentle and playful.
she makes friends fast... just ask jewels.(thats my other baby)
she's still getting used to her environment though :)
she's our baby girl.
we're gonna pamper her, no doubt.
its like love at first sight. can't bear to put that sweet lil thing down.
the size of a palm. she's just so adorable.
hugs and kisses to PANCAKES and my baby!

where's PANCAKES!!!

2007-03-25T22:22:00.000+08:00

OUR day out today :) happy HAPPY day!!!...yes yes :) pen and bao came over in the morning..so we only left the house at around 12.30? yea...around there.. it was alright..not that late.. dropped by the S.P.C.A first... reason? baby and i are gonna get our very own pet :) as in OURS.. yes yes.. :) we're gonna get a pet. lol.. and a BUNNY to be exact..well, or maybe a chinchilla.. :p well, its partly for his birthday pressie too.... hmmmm..can't help but to think.. its really sad, i mean, going to the S.P.C.A and looking at all the poor animals that were abandoned in one way or another... its like, they just sit there feeling unwanted and watch people walk past everyday from their confined cages, without a proper home.erm, think of it as going to jail for a long time when you've done nothing wrong.haiz..its really sad...haiz.... well, anyways, gonna get a dwarf rabbit... its damn cute.. its like some fluff ball. instand love at first sight.. lol..take it from an animal lover...actually, all the furry lil things are adorable to me. lol. but chinchillas need alot of maintainence... and we'll be broke after we buy that one.. maybe we'll stick to a rabbit.. although the chinchilla is damn cute.. sobs... won't one just drop from the sky for us???? F.O.C :) going nuts here..lol..i think the tiredness is getting to me.schedual's been so hectic these few days... but today is THE day to relax :) so we scouted around for potential pancakes :) pancakes is what we plan to name the lil bunny :) pancakes pancakes!!! lalalalalalala.... yummy name :) went to vivo to catch a movie too... TMNT!!! our childhood show.. hah! we're deprived. finished the movie at around 5 plus then we walked around abit more..shopped for bunnys and clothes.. and i'm partially glad to declare that..... although we didn't find our pancakes, i got me two new tops from forever 21. damn happy cause i'm sick and tired of the same old fashion..so i decided to add a lil more spice to my wardrobe. lol. baby wanted to get his super skinny jeans ..but they didn't have the ones with the length he wanted at topman, so guess we'll be getting that tomorrow at orchard... together with those darn leggings that i have to get for the musical too. when you want something, its so darn hard to find and when you don't , its staring you in the face.....sigh...

headed down to gardens after that to look for more bunnys..but sadly, we didn't find one we really wanted... we even came across bunnys that were free of charge... they were kinda abandoned..its really sad.. those bastards that abandoned the poor defenseless darlings ought to die. ARG! so much of cruelty around... fuckers. anyway, we had dinner in gardens.. ate at ICE³..i love that place..its like gonna be my official hangout from now on. lol. i absolutely love the food there :) and my personal favourite..*drum roll* ...but of course the mozerella cheese stix! OMG!!! HEAVEN!!! lol..cheese fries too!!! mmmmmmmmmmm.......ice cream's good too! yup yup...love that place. :p..

well, guess thats it for the day ....orchard tomorrow to complete the shopping. damn tired today.. ciao!

2007-03-21T12:38:00.000+08:00

alright! i'm gonna have to update for the past 2 days cause i was too damn lazy to come online. :) here goes...

Monday:
baby's birthday and we had a bbq planned. invited a few people to come celebrate his birthday. had the usual..sausages, prawns, meat, potatoes which were damn hard to bbq, corn, chicken, marshmellows, chips, drinks, satay and of course the birthday cake. OREO CHEESE CAKE! yummy..it was kinda nice. but the balance kinda went on him so yea, literally. the oreo cheese cake came and went just like that. and since we totally forgot bout the satay sauce when we were eating the satay, we decided to....... pour it all on john :) sorry baby. after all, birthday boys are given "SPECIAL" treatments all the time :) just no beat ups this time around eh? heh heh. he got thrown into the pool straight after btw and but of course, the guard had to go all bitchy on us. haha. too late though.... yup..chit chats and all... just hope he had a good time that night, though it didn't really turn out to be anything spectacular. at least most of the people turned up :) thanks guys,really. :):) all in all, a hectic day...

Tuesday:
woke up, rushed with the piano and then rushed to get ready for the ballet exam. darn it all, i swear i can't clip up all my fringe.. its been a long while since i tied my hair like that. pins everywhere, ahhh!! headache. had to tie the bun, which wasn't such a biggy. just the damn fringe that was damn annoying. took quite awhile just trying to pin it all up.. u know, the feeling of, you'd pin one side up, and the other side drops?..... wth...oh well, but i made it to the place in time :) dad fetched me.. omg! i swear i freaked out during the exam cause i was in front. the examiner was like staring at me most of the time. think i screwed up abit.. froze.. how amature can i get...haiz... and there we were holding the same position for god knows how long... my feet were killing me the whole of yesterday, and just because of that 1.5 hours of exam. it was seriously really tiring... never knew it would be like that. hope the result turns out ok man... time to start praying... :)

UAN dance training later.. haiz..i'm so tired..both mentally and physically..i think i'm gonna be sick :(